The Strongest Amity.

32.

It has been almost a week since we caught Four and Tris and we haven't gotten much. I sat at the table as Eric tried a different tool on Tries to carve tratior in her arm. I was trying to not watch and breathe shallow to keep the bile from rising as the small of chopper over took my senses.

"Eric. It is time." Max said from where he was standing by Jeanine. I looked up amd met his eyes. I know what be was talking about. Max wanted me to finally pitch in. I heard Eric drop the tool and his footsteps.

"You said she would have to witness not parttake." Eric said lowly trying to get me out of this. He knew I would break for hurting someone.

"She was willing to kill her mother. If we can get her to get in touch with that anger she will be fine. Or as fine as she can be for hurting someone." Max said. I sighed. It was the same arguement they have been having for 3 days.

I sighed and got up from the seat and walked to Tris. She was sweating and panting with blood slowly dripping down her head from the fresh cut on her head.

I reached foward and pressed against it with my thumb and she hissed. I swallowed the bile and reached down with a shakey hand to pick up the tool. I noticed that Eric had gotten half way through the word traitor on her arm. I kneeled in the wet floor and met her eyes. They were full and filled with pain.

"I am truly sorry for this." I told her and a look of almost understanding went through her eyes as I pressed the tool to her skin.

...

I am standing in Erics shower and watched the light red spin as it goes down the drain. I am numb right now. Max got what he wanted. I finally did it. I was officially a dauntless leader. I finally caused someone harm. She wasn't innocent but still breaks me.

I grabbed my soap and scrupped my arms leaving red in it's wake. I feel dirty. Not the same dirty I felt when I was raped. But a just dirty feeling. I didn't even hear Eric until I felt his big hands grabbed mine. I looked up from my red arms and met his blue eyes.

He didn't say anything as he pulled me to him. His naked chest that I have become so use to seemed to ground me. I felt all emotions at once. Guilt was the big in. I sobbed as I remember Tris passing out from blood loss. I had to slap her awake. I was so scared I killed her.

"Max promised you wouldn't have to do it again. I think you scared him. The look on your face when you left was so haunted." Eric murmured as he held me close. As weird as it sounds but his naked body pressed against mine wasn't sexual but it felt very intimate. This was a very intimate moment between two people. Two lovers. Two broken people who are healing eachother.

After about 10 minutes and the water getting cold Eric helped me out of the shower before dressing me in his sweats and the hoodie he wore today. He just put on his usual sweats and no shirt.

He placed me on the sofa and read to me. His voice was quiet but it comforted me. I looked up at him and got a flood of love for this man. He healed my deepest hurt and he continues to fix what he didn't break. He trusts me with his heart and I trust him with my body. I gave him the most sacred part of me that I promised myself no man would never touch again. But he broke my walls down. Fast. We didn't fall in love slowly. We fell fast and hard. Most probably think it will end but for some reason in my small little world i know this love is a forever kind of love. It has no ending. Even in death.

I reached forward and grabbed his book out of his hand and placed it on the table. I crawled forward and placed myself on his lap straddling him before kissing him deeply. He placed both hands on my back almost on top of my butt and pulled me close. I placed a hand on his neck and the other on his naked chest. He moved his hand into my hoodie and ran his fingers into the waist band of the sweats. He pulled back slightly panting before looking at me.