It's always been you, April Kepner

lost or loss

"I know. There was a plane crash and-"

"No- I, I mean with Derek" Madelyn says

"What do you mean sweetheart? What's wrong with Derek?"

"I- I don't know"

"Mads. What can I do to help-"

"I need Meredith and Arizona" Madelyn says before walking away

-

Madelyn looks everywhere, eventually she finds Arizona sat on the floor of a supply closet

"Have you seen Mer?" Madelyn asks the blonde taking a seat next to her

Before Arizona can reply Meredith walks in

"There was a plane crash" Arizona says

Meredith sighs "I know"

"But we're okay. 'Cause it's not us. It's not us, so we're... we're okay" Madelyn says as Arizona grabs her hand

"We are okay. We are... we are okay" the blonde says "Did you see the guy out there? His leg is severed beneath the knee. Did you... Did you see him?" Arizona asks

"I did" Meredith says taking a seat on the other side of Meredith "We're okay"

"There are so many burn victims, so many" Madelyn says in a whisper

Meredith rests her head on the girls shoulder before she says "The girl, she can't find her boyfriend"

"We're okay" Madelyn says

"We're okay" both blondes repeat

~~~~~

Madelyn overhears Alex says "Oh, I thought Torres was down here. I need a consult"

"Uh, no, she's in O.R. 6" April replies

"I can do it" Madelyn says

"That's okay. You don't have to" Alex dismisses

"Hey, uh, are you working with Arizona today? Is she doing okay?" April asks Alex

"Yeah, well, I mean, she keeps yelling at me to do crap, so I guess that's normal. Anyone know how Mer's doing?" he asks

April shrugs "Mads, are you okay?"

"What are you all talking about?" Maggie asks

"Uh, they, um... They had a bad experience on a plane a while back" Alex says tiptoeing around the situation

"Alex. I'm serious. I can do it" Madelyn says

Maggie speaks over the brunette to say "Oh. Yeah, I get that. I hate flying. My flight out here from Boston was the worst. There was some technical problem with the plane, and so they left us on the tarmac for four hours. And they wouldn't let anybody out their seats to use the bathroom. They weren't serving water, and it was so hot. It smelled like boiled feet. And then! After four hours, they just canceled the flight. I mean, they just kicked us off. There was no apology. There was no..."

"Shut up!" Madelyn yells "Alex. I can do the consult"

"What? What did I do?" Maggie asks

"You tell her" Alex says to April "I'll take you to the consult" he says to Madelyn

"Thank you" she replies following him out

~~~~~

After surgery on Alex's patient, Madelyn makes her way to the residents lounge "Jo?" she says walking in slowly

"Madelyn, hey. I've been trying to find you all day- eventually I just assumed you went home-" the resident is cut off by Madelyn engulfing her in a hug

"You're okay" she whispers

"Yeah- yeah of course i'm okay. Why wouldn't I be okay?" Jo asks hugging her back

"Because there was a plane crash" Madelyn replies "And the world likes to take the most important people in my life from me and I really can't lose anyone else" she says making Jo nod in understanding

"Well, i'm okay. And you're okay" Jo says

"Yeah" Madelyn replies "I'll see you later" she says walking away

-

"Hey" Madelyn says walking over to April in the now quiet E.R

"Hi" April says softly as she searches the brunettes face for any and every emotion

"I'm okay" Madelyn says before she can asks

"You don't have to be okay though. I'm right here, and I promise it's okay to not be okay. Because if you weren't i'd look after you" April says placing her hands on either side of the brunettes face

"I know" Madelyn replies with a sad smile "I know you're here, that's why i'm okay"

April gives Madelyn a quick kiss before saying "Do you still have a bad feeling about Derek?" she asks

Madelyn slowly nods "Yeah" she whispers "But I can't figure it out"

April takes Madelyn's hand in her own "Let's go home. I'll make waffles, we can watch whatever horror movie you want. Then we'll fall asleep in each others arms. And tomorrow when we wake up, we'll know. And if we don't, we'll figure it out together. Okay?"

Madelyn slowly nods "Okay" she agrees