Nothing Really Matters

Chapter Two ~ Calling All Horses To Post

"Yes actually you're right. Good idea. Both of you head on and we'll meet there." The poor man was tying himself in knots. For a trainer that does so well he get's very anxious.

As we hopped into Jacks little Golf I asked him "Is he always like this?" referring to the man most likely pulling out whats left of his hair now.

"Yup. Every race day is the same. Be it a point to point or the Grand National. It's just the way he is." The car's engine quietly comes to life and we leave the yard.

"You and him are like the complete opposite! He's having a fit and you're not even batting an eyelid." I shake my head not being able to get around his level of calm.

"It's just another race. I race nearly everyday. Jockey's are used to it. You should know that." He said glancing at me knowingly before returning to watch the road.

"Wha..bu.. What are you talking about?" I eventually spluttered out. My heart racing. Ha! Racing!

"Come on Molly, I know you used to race. I knew I recognised you. I saw you at a couple of point to points years ago. You were winning all round you. Why'd you stop?" His voice was soft. Could I trust him? He'd probably find out anyway. I wiped away a tear that escaped from my stinging eyes. Here we go.

"I had an..em..an accident. It was around my third month as a conditional jockey. I don't remember any of it. My parents told me that's when it happened. We were leading when we made a mistake at the last fence. My horse flipped over and fell on top of me. I was in a coma for eighteen weeks. When I woke up I couldn't remember anything. My whole life was a blur." I stopped not being able to say anymore as the hot tears free flowed down my face.

~Jack~

"when I woke up I couldn't remember anything. My whole life was a blur." She began to cry and I felt a pit at the bottom of my stomach. This is all my fault. I pulled over and gave her my full attention. Small waves of her light brown hair fell around her face. Her dark brown eyes were red and watery. She should look a mess right now but she doesn't. I reach over and embrace her in a tight hug. She's shocked at first but in need of comforting she wraps her arms around me. We stay like this for what seems like forever until much to my dismay she pulls away.

"Haven't we a race meeting to get to?" Smiling weakly she wipes under her eyes. Smiling back at her I restart the car and we continue. As much as I hate to see her cry we need to talk about this again. She's obviously not over it and she needs to be if she wants to continue working on a racing yard. I can't believe I didn't know what happened. A fall like that would've been all the talk in the racing community. I know it's a long shot but she should race again. She was really good.

Arriving at Thurles we waited in the car for Paddy and the others to arrive. At the moment there are very few in the car park but things will liven up closer to the time. I love the buzz of adreneline in the weigh room and the surge of electricity from the crowd and the sheer power of the horses, better than any drug. From what I can imagine. I'm not into that kind of thing.

"Em Jack I'd really appreciate it if you kept my accident to yourself. Just for now atleast." She fiddles with her zip at the end of her jacket.

"Of course." I say softly and gently get her to face me. "But you do realise it's nothing to be ashamed off. It's actually the opposite. It shows how strong you are." She lets out a hasty laugh.

"Yeah I'm so absolutely amazingly strong that I haven't even got up on a horse since." She's angry, but not at me. "I haven't even attempted it. The thought makes me go stone cold. I hate it. I hate being scared to do what I once loved doing. Even when I forgot everything after the fall I still felt that pull towards racing. You know, the rush of excitement you get when you ride well and the pride that grows in you and your horse when you win a race, but fear overcomes it all like a heavy shadow." I see a familiar glint in her eyes when she talks about racing. She still holds a strong love for the lifestyle to which I admire after everything that's happened.