Unloved & Unloveable

Chapter 10

My alarm goes off and I turn it off. How am I supposed to get up and go to school after what just happened? I lie there staring at my ceiling. I can't do this. I feel my phone start to buzz and I answer it, putting it on speaker phone and laying it next to me.

"Heyyyyy," the girl on the other line greets.

"Hey, babe," I replied back.

"I'll be there in maybe 25-30 minutes to pick you up, alright?" Stacy says.

"Um, I actually already have a ride today, is that cool?" I spoke.

"Yeah, that works too," the blonde answers, "see you at school."

"Okay, love you!!" I replied.

The only response back is the disconnected tone signaling Stacy hung up on me and I sigh.

My mom knocks on my door and tells me to be ready soon. I didn't do any of my homework due today, oh well. I slide off my bed and grab jeans and a t-shirt from my drawer and change into them. I trudge into the kitchen where my mom is eating avocado toast and texting on her phone. I sit at the kitchen table quietly and pick at my fingers.

"Oh Jesus, I didn't see you there," my moms gasps.

I let out a slight laugh, "my bad."

I follow the woman out to the car and slip into the passenger seat. I slouch back into the seat as she starts the car.

After a few minutes of quietly traveling in the car, my mom speaks,"what's up with you, kid? You seem down."

I let out a long sigh, "I got into a fight with my friend. Well, it was more than a fight because we aren't friends anymore."

"Oh no! I'm sorry, hon," my mom says sincerely, "what caused all that to happen?"

I rub the back of my neck out of awkwardness, "my girlfriend gave me an ultimatum, I either drop Peyton, the friend in question, or me and my girlfriend break up."

"Oh my god, I didn't know you had a girlfriend! When did that happen?" She asks.

I laugh, "yeah, Stacy and I got together like 2 months ago I think."

"Aww that's cute," my mom smiles and I nod.

"Well, in my opinion, I think that ultimatum is bullshit," my mom voices.

I roll my eyes and we continue the drive in silence. Once we got to school, I got out and said bye to my mom. I notice Stacy's car and I'm surprised she beat me here so I go into the building and try to find her. I see her at her locker and I walk up to the blonde and put my hand on her back. She moves away. Great, she's mad at me. What'd I do now? I put my arm back to my side and just looked at her. Stacy huffs and storms off to class. I sigh whilst running my hands through my hair and then head to class too. I always seem to fuck something up.

I sit down in my spot next to Stacy and put my head in my hands. I'm too exasperated and exhausted to deal with her shit today. I stay like that while listening to today's lecture and try to care about any of it. All of the sudden, a folded up piece of paper slides into my view. I grab it and look at Stacy who is staring forward. I, then, unfold it and read the words "I know you're cheating on me" written on it. I make a face and respond back with "what are you talking about?" and pass it back to the blonde beside me. Stacy scribbles something down and hastily shoves the paper to me. It reads "I saw the girl dropping you off today, you don't need to lie to me". I cover my mouth with my hand to suppress my laughter. I quickly wrote down the explanation of my mom finally being back in town for a couple days and she was the one taking me to school. Stacy rolls her eyes and stands up as the bell rings.

"Liar," the girl says to me as she walks off.

Why does everything I do start a fight? I literally did nothing but let my mom be a mom and now my girlfriend is pissed at me. I storm to class and angrily take my seat. I want to go home. As the bell rings to start class, I notice the seat next to me empty. I look around for Peyton and I spot her at the back of the class laughing at something her new table partner said. Now that was my last straw. I feel like I'm choking as I speed to the bathroom. I slam the stall door loudly before vomiting in the toilet. I sink down to the floor, I know the floor's gross shut up, and tears come flooding from my eyes. I slam my fist into the stall wall beside me and continue sobbing, not caring who hears me. I wipe my face and continue sitting there with no energy or motivation to get up. After a couple minutes, a girl walks in and hears me.

"Is someone crying?" the girl asks softly.

I hear a knock on my stall and I reach up to unlock the door.

"Oh," the girl gently smiles at me before reaching for my hand to pull me up and flushing the toilet.

I stare at her with tear filled eyes and she pulls me into a hug. I thought I was done crying but apparently not as I began crying on this girl's shoulder. She sits me down against the wall of the bathroom and continues to have her arms wrapped around me.

"Hey, honey, what's your name?" the girl asks.

"A-avery" I reply, choking on my words.

"Hi, Avery, I'm Bri. Do you want to talk about what's got you upset?" Bri says.

I breathe in shakily as I tell her everything. I tell her about Peyton hating me now because of Stacy and moving seats. I tell her about Stacy constantly finding something to be mad at me for and thinking I'm cheating on her even though I'm not. I tell her about my mom and how she's never in my life. I talk until I'm gasping for air. Bri holds me against her and whispers comforts to me as I keep crying.

After a while of sitting there Bri begins to stand up, "I'm gonna take you to the nurse, okay?"

I nod and get up and she wraps an arm around me leading me to the nurses office. When we get there, Bri does all the talking. She tells the nurse everything she can. Bri tells her my first and last name which confuses me because why did she ask for my name if she already knew it. I sit there in the office staring at my hands and wait for my mom to come pick me up. When my mom does finally get here, I get in the car and stay silent the whole way home.