When we are happy

Chapter 28: Shit

I run my hand over my face and loosen my tie as i get into my car watching Penelope get into her dads and they leave together.

I drive to the garage.

I need to fix some shit i can control.

I pull up and get out the car as all the boys are sitting around just talking. I walk up and undo my jacket, untucking my shirt and i grab some water.

They all go silent and i keep staring at the fridge till the tears in my eyes disappear again.

"How, um, how did it go?" Wes asks.

I turn around and sit in the spare chair, "Shit."

They all look sad and hurt too. It hurts them seeing Penelope hurting.

It kills me to see her hurting knowing i can't do anything to help.

"There was a lot of crying, lots of talking," I take a sip of my water, "Penelope's speech was amazing."

"Did she go home with her dad?" Nico asks.

I nod.

"How's she doing?"

I release a breathe of air, "Not good."

I wish i could help. I wish there was a way to light her back up again. I wish there was a way i could protect her from the pain she's feeling.

"I wish we could do more, you know?" I pick at my skin.

They nod, "Us too."

"She's too good for all this pain." I stare at the floor.

"You're doing a good job with her." Gavin tells me.

"It's so hard seeing her suffer."

"We know, but you being there for her helps a lot."

I nod and press down my tears.

I won't stop helping her until she feels happy again. I won't stop being here for her ever.

She will always have me by her side, even if she doesn't know it.

"I don't want you staying out anymore." Dad tells me over dinner as he has his fourth beer.

"Okay." I whisper.

"No sleeping at that fucking boys house. And no boys coming over."

I nod.

"I-i'm in charge now. You listen to me."

"Okay."

"Stand up. Take your dress off."

I gulp, "What?"

"I want to see your bruises. See if i need to do it worse."

"I don't feel comfortable with that dad."

His jaw clenches and his eyes turn a darker shade of anger.

I don't back down.

I don't want to be in my underwear in front of my dad. I can deal with the hits, but not that.

"Get changed and meet me back down here."

I waste no time going upstairs and changing into pyjama pants and an over sized t-shirt.

I creep downstairs and my dads already holding his belt.

He starts to hit me and i cry and scream but that doesn't seem to stop him.

I'm so tired of living like this. Im so tired.

I just don't think i can do it anymore.

There's only one person i can tell that can help me.

There's only one person i want to tell.

I'm done with this. I can't keep doing it.

I need to tell Parker.

did you know there is no pickle emogi?