The Freelancers React to red vs blue

We're Being Watched

Fade in on Doc/O'Malley behind a turret.

O'Malley: Yeeees, this place is coming along nicely. Excellent work repairing the turrets, Lopez.

Wash frowned. "But... he's just a head," he said, extremely confused.

"What can I say? He likes to get ahead." Rider giggled.

"You did not."

"Fuck off!"

"That was so bad."

"I hope you die."

Rider laughed loudly, the comments not deterring her the slightest bit.

Lopez: Gracias. Me encanta el trabajo manual. [Thank you. I find manual labor stimulating.]

Doc: I still say a flowerbox would have been a bit more neighborly.

O'Malley: Oh shut up you fool!

Doc: Hey, we should start a neighborhood association. It's just like a government, but run by housewives and old people. So it's a lot more efficient at controlling your lives.

North nodded slowly. "He's not wrong."

"Never again." South huffed and North hummed in agreement.

O'Malley: Get out of my head!

Doc: Technically it's my head. But I don't mind sharing. Don't you remember that talk we had about sharing?

O'Malley: Shut up!

Cut to a strange red soldier running toward ...something.

Red Zealot: At last! My pilgrimage is over! I have reached the promised land!

"Aw what the fuck?" South swore. "This guy?"

Tex curled her lip. How fantastic. "Just what we need, more idiots."

O'Malley: (running to the ledge, through the fan) Who is that. Oh no. Not this buffoon! How did he get here?

Lopez: Él estaba cerca de la bomba cuando quemo. [He probably was blown nearby by the bomb.]

O'Malley: Hellooooo. What do you want?

Red Zealot: The disembodied voice of God! (kneels) I hear you Holy One! I have made it to the temple and await your command!

O'Malley: Up here- Helloooo. Red Moron. Eyes up, chop-chop!

Red Zealot: Oh. Greetings! Are you the gatekeeper of the temple?

Doc: Us? No, we just moved in. Can you help us move a couch? And do you know any good restaurants nearby?

York snorted. Was this guy for real? "He's acting like he's on Earth, not an alien planet where the only human presence is military."

"Maybe it's his way of coping?" Florida suggested.

York shrugged. "If it is, it's not one I've ever seen."

O'Malley: Just a second. (To Doc) Listen you fool, let me handle this.

Doc: I don't know, you haven't been the best choice when it comes to making friends. Maybe I should try.

O'Malley: Nonsense! With the proper handling, this fellow will make an excellent stooge. And I'm the one here with the most experience training Stooges. Isn't that right, Lopez...