2. mirrorball (a taylor swift au)

-chapter six-

Taking Ellie's advice into consideration, Taylor picked out a dress that she'd not worn out yet. It was the colour of autumn leaves, with a satin skirt and tight top. It wasn't something she'd usually wear, but she figured that it was formal, but not too formal for a dinner with a friend.
Throwing on some chunky black shoes, some gold jewellery, and braiding her pony tail, she stared at herself in the mirror. Deciding it would look better if she straightened her hair, she did so quickly before she grabbed a handbag. She transferred all of her stuff from what she called her "mom" bag, she sighed. She didn't overly like the outfit - it wasn't her favourite, but she didn't have time to change.
"WOW," Ellie exclaimed. "Mom you look so pretty!"
Taylor smiled down at her daughter.
"Thank you! I don't look as pretty as you though, gorgeous girl!"
Ellie twirled again, laughing. Taylor would never get sick of hearing that wonderful sound. Every day they were here, every single day Ellie was a little bit happier. A little less scared, a little less sad.

Derek was beyond nervous to see Taylor. He'd never actually remembered being this nervous for anything before. But here he was, sitting with the girls in the empty restaurant, waiting for Taylor to pull up out back. He'd made sure she knew that she could get out of the car with no one seeing her - the back of the restaurant was fenced in and the carpark was private. He had quite a few big names come to his restaurant and he knew privacy was important. Although, he'd never had anyone as important as Taylor come into his restaurant. He felt like it was a lot of pressure. She was used to the best restaurants - the best food and dining. And here she was, heading to his restaurant. His restaurant.

He was nervous - he hadn't been out with another woman since Melody died. He felt bad, felt like he was betraying her. But then again, he knew Taylor would probably only ever see him as a friend. So it wasn't a big deal. The big deal was the fact that Taylor Swift was going to be sitting in his restaurant. He'd sent all his staff home, he'd cleaned it from top to bottom. He might be the owner and head chef of a two Michelin Star restaurant, but still. Taylor was extraordinary in all the ways he could never even dream of.
"Is that her?" Lottie asked, peaking behind her. She was wearing a Rapunzel dress - it was getting a little small for her now, but Lottie refused to let him buy her a new one.
He liked seeing Margot's face light up - Margot struggled making friends, and it meant the world to him that Ellie seemed to be close with her. Margot tended to be on the outside of the friend groups at school - even when he'd worked so hard with her teacher to get her to join in. Margot liked sitting under a tree with her book - that's just who she was. She was excited and energised in social situations that she felt comfortable in - like right now, but at places like school, she was quiet and reserved.
"Wow," he heard his daughters say in unison, and slowly - not making it look like he was desperate to see her again - he turned around. Taylor looked... she looked beautiful. She looked classy and casual and... like she'd stepped out of a  fashion magazine. He had to stop himself from saying wow, just like the kids had done.
"Woah Ellie! Look how you're sparkling!" Margot practically leapt from her chair. "You look so pretty!"
Ellie giggled, blushing. "I like your hair," Ellie told her. Derek had spent almost forty minutes trying to please his nine year old daughter - who wanted ribbons in her hair. Margot's hair was stubborn and it didn't want to cooperate, so it was a mission. But they'd gotten there in the end. Her hair was in two pigtails, with ribbons around each one.
"Thank you so much for having us," Taylor was the first one to speak, and Derek stood up, trying to hide his nerves. He'd changed is outfit fifty times before he'd come to work today. He wanted to look nice, he wasn't sure why. They were just friends. But Derek wanted to make a good impression. Even though he knew that the first time Taylor had ever seen him, he'd been running through the foyer of the support group holding Margot's shoes. That wasn't a good first impression. He'd thought about that for days. So here he was, wearing his sand coloured pants with a brown belt, a quarter zip sweater with a plain old white shirt underneath it. He wanted to be casual, but not... messy.
"The pleasure is all mine," he grinned. "Ladies, if you'd like to take a seat, Taylor and I will be right back." Orange suited Taylor. It brought out her eyes. He didn't know why on earth he was so fixated with them, but they were some of the most gorgeous eyes he'd ever seen.
"I'll just lock the door and pull down the blinds," he told her. "I don't want anyone seeing a light on in here and decide to come and have a look."
He could tell how grateful Taylor was for his concern.
"Thank you," she sighed. "I'm sorry it's so much work."
"Not at all!" Derek shook his head, double locking the back door. "I'll give you the menu and you can tell me what you'd like to eat and then I can put on my apron and start cooking for you."
He watched Taylor's cheeks turn red, a lingering smile on her lips.
"That's a lot of work for you-"
"I'll give you an apron too," he offered. "I'll show you the kitchen." He glanced over at the kids, who were sitting at a table opposite the kitchen, so he could see them. They were laughing, busy colouring in the colouring pages he'd set out for them. Margot was chomping down on some bread sticks, and Lottie was humming a song to herself. Ellie was laughing, but keeping a watchful eye on Taylor. He remembered when Margot couldn't be out of eyes reach of them- but she'd gotten so much better. Derek hoped that Ellie would reach that point too.

Taylor looked around the place, at how clean and tidy it was. The classy decor that seemed to be timeless in its simplicity. It had a certain vintage charm to it that Taylor hadn't seen in a restaurant before - and she liked it. The warm glow of the chandeliers that hung from the ceiling, the dark oak looking tables all ready for their next guests. The walls of the place were filled with art, of newsprint looking words in frames. The gentle hum of old romance songs playing even though there were no guests... it was just all the right vibes of a restaurant.
"Did your wife help you to decorate it?" Taylor asked as he handed her an apron.
He nodded. "I mean, I'd named it after her. The Melody." He glanced over at her. "She picked out all the colors and everything - I just don't have the eye for those sorts of things."
"It's so beautiful," Taylor smiled. "I don't know how on earth I'm going to choose what to eat. What do you feel like making?"
He looked over at her, and Taylor handed him the menu. "You can choose," she smiled. "I trust you. You aren't going to be the owner and head chef at a two Michelin Star restaurant for no reason."
He chuckled. "Okay, okay. I'm making the kids zucchini pasta, if that's okay with you."
Taylor nodded with a smile, unable to wipe it from her face.

Derek was cooking while Taylor stood, the two of them talking and laughing as he made dinner. He'd refused Taylor's offer of help, telling her that all he needed was her company.
"His name was Joe," Taylor told him openly. He'd asked her how many times she'd had information shared or spread to the media behind her back.
"That's the guy I got out of my seven year relationship with at the start of the year." He watched as she rolled her eyes.
"It was one of those relationships where you don't really notice just how bad it was until it's over." He could hear the bitterness in her voice, and he felt mad that she'd been hurt so badly at the hands of another.
"He went to the media about our breakup," she told him. "It was just... the worst possible thing he could have done. Here I was, trying to help Ellie, having the whole freaking world upset that my relationship was over."
"The whole world didn't know what was happening behind closed doors," Derek told her. "I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must be for you."
"I wouldn't wish it on anyone," she gave him a sad smile. "Having people that you thought would support you no matter what, decide they're going to run off to the media outlet prepared to pay the most for a big story... it sucks. That wasn't the first time it happened, either."
Derek shook her head. "You give up so much to make other people happy."
He watched Taylor's face fall with recognition of what he was saying. She looked over at him, and he almost got swept away in her eyes. They were just so blue and he was sure if he looked at them long enough, starlight would dance in them.
"All I try to do is make people happy." He could tell. He'd noticed how her fingernails were almost bitten raw.
"That must get so tiring after a while," he strained the zucchini, adding salt and pepper, and his special ingredient. "Making people happy all the time is exhausting."
Taylor nodded. "It is, but I think it's so engrained in me that it's a lost cause by now."
"Why do you feel like you've got to make everyone happy?" He asked her gently, wondering if he knew the answer.
"Because..." she hesitated, and Derek knew that she was trying to decide just how honest she was going to be. "I think that deep down, I..." she glanced over her shoulder, making sure that Ellie couldn't hear her. "I think I hate myself just a little bit and making people like me... I think it gives me value." Taylor shook her head. "Wow, I'm sorry. That is not the sort of conversation I thought we'd be having."
"What would it take for you to not... hate yourself?" Derek continued.
Taylor gave an anxious laugh, but it wasn't funny. "I'd have to be someone else entirely."

The words made Derek sad. He looked over at her, and for a moment, he saw flecks of a woman that he didn't think many people got to see. Through the haze of spotlights and confetti, through the sparkles and camera flashes... there was just a woman. Just a woman trying to make it through life, just like everyone else. Just a woman, just a Mom, just... Taylor. Doing it all for the first time. And the fact she hated herself? He couldn't help but feel so upset by that - because it hurt him that she couldn't see how he phenomenal she was. But seeing this version of her... he couldn't help but feel... his heart skipped a beat. What was he feeling? He hadn't felt it in so long that it caught him off guard. All he knew, was that seeing her in this moment did nothing but make him like her even more.

He'd never admit it, but it was true. Derek was falling in love with her. And that terrified him. A part of him knew it was happening, but shoved the feelings down. Taylor was... she was a star. She was bright and radiant and shining. He knew there wasn't even a possibility that she might like him back... she was just kind, they were just friends. Just friends.

But deep down, both of them knew that they wanted to be so much more.