Snap Out Of It - Alexia Putellas

They Fell For It All

I gulped, perhaps I was trying to get rid of the tears or maybe even the lump in my throat, "I'm fine."

"Talk to me Ale," Mapi tilted her head, "I know when something is on your mind."

"It's Nana's paella, isn't it?" I checked.

Mapi gently nodded her head, "She taught me how to make it a few years ago, it's my favorite thing to cook."

I pulled a smile onto my face, my vision surprisingly blurry for something I thought I'd dealt with weeks ago but I suppose grief wasn't a linear line; that's what the phycologist had said at least. 

But then I suddenly remembered the blonde who'd opened the door to me, only moments before slamming it in my face, the delicateness of my emotions disappeared, being replaced by this sickening hatred, "And Alana is here?"

Mapi looked down to the floor, "Gabby is too."

I held my breath, "For dinner?"

I thought of Nana's dinner parties, how she'd always welcome Hunter's teammates into the house and cook that very dish for them. I thought of how she'd disapprove that I hadn't welcomed Alana into the team if she were still here now, everything I'd been doing went against everything she'd ever taught me. 

"Yes," Mapi's words were almost fearful, "I'm sorry Ale, I didn't think about it and until today, I didn't realize how much you disliked her but Ingrid had already bought the ingredients and-"

"It's okay," I softly stopped her.

Mapi furrowed her eyebrows ever so slightly, "Would you like to sit and join us?"

I didn't want to, I didn't want to sit through an hour of Alana's glare and mine right back at her, the expression hurt my face to be honest. But then I thought of how good Nana's paella had always been, how it had felt like home, the home I needed right now, so I went against everything my head told me and followed my heart instead.

"That would be nice," I replied. 

"Come on then," Mapi led me into the dining room. 

There was Ingrid, Gabby and Alana sat at the table, all eating the dish my Nana had so dearly loved. To see Alana there, suddenly made my lungs feel much heavier, almost cutting off my air supply. 

"Oh great," she looked up at me and muttered.

Ingrid looked at her, lecturing the girl with a single look and Alana seemed to listen, not saying anything more. It seemed she listened to Ingrid more than she ever listened to me.

As the minutes ticked by, I found it harder and harder to sit there, at the same table as her. But Alana had been silent, as had Ingrid, Mapi and Gabby were the only ones to drag this conversation about sea lions on, even they seemed to find it difficult.

"You guys," Alana interrupted them, still something about her voice wasn't right, "I am actually so tired."

I furrowed my eyebrows, looking at Mapi for answers. Mapi was already looking right back at me, her eyes wide. 

Ingrid just laughed, tilting her head to the side so she could see her blonde best friend clearer. 

It all made sense now; Alana slamming the door, Ingrid acting so strangely on the phone, Mapi being so anxious to invite me inside, the room being so silent.

"She's drunk," I put my cup down.

Mapi went to say something but just shut her mouth. 

"Oh stop it, will you Putellas?" Alana looked in my direction, finally snapping out of the silence she'd found herself in, "We were having fun, I wonder if you've ever heard of it?"

"Alana," Gabby nudged her sister.

"This was a bad idea," I decided, standing up. I'd never thought this was a particularly good idea but seeing the state Alana was in, I didn't want to stay.

"Are you sure Ale?" Mapi asked. 

I looked back to Alana and scoffed, "You got her drunk?" I asked my best friend, horrified she'd do such a thing.

"I - uh - we," Mapi stuttered.

"Don't apologize to her, Mapi," Alana spoke up, then looked to me, "You're meant to be her friend, I don't know why she'd want that, but you're not captain anymore, we're not inside the club."

"So you think this if professional?" I checked with the blonde, begining to feel both my temperature and the volume of my voice rise, "You think slamming the door in my face is professional?"

"And you're one to talk about being professional?" she mocked. 

With every interaction Alana and I had, it became more and more clear that we'd never find an understanding, not even a millimeter of common ground. 

"You are the one whose sitting here drunk!"

"And you are completely innocent of course," she shot back, seeming far less bothered about this argument than me, as she took a sip of her drink. 

Her words caught me off guard, "I am," I scoffed. 

Alana's eyes widened, "Wow," she breathed, "Maybe you're not just arrogant, you might be a full blown narcissist after all."

"Come on Alana," Mapi sighed, "Ale is not what you just said."

"No, I think she is," Alana suddenly stood up.

"And now you're going to just run away?" I questioned.

"That's what you were trying to do, right?" she narrowed her eyes, "before you were about to attack your best friend."

"I wasn't going to attack her," I shook my head, my throat raw.

"Well then," Alana leaned onto the table, "now you're a liar too."

My jaw hung slightly open, as did Ingrid's, though she didn't step in to stop Alana. "I think you should go home Alana," I curtly suggested.

"You're probably right, I wouldn't want you breaking my left ankle as well," she chuckled.

Again, I felt like I had nothing to say. Alana's words were like bombs which blew out of nowhere, she took situations to an entirely new level, and I never knew how disastrous the impact of it would be. 
It stunned me that we'd spent so little time together yet found a thousand and one things we hated about each other. It felt to me that Alana Foden was the easiest person in the world to read, she was reckless, stubborn and completely cruel, but no one else somehow saw that. Everyone else loved her, they fell for it all; the bouncing blonde hair, the bright smile on those glossed lips, the dance in her laughter, the way she moved, the way she talked, the way she looked at you. Everything. They fell for it all.

But I saw the truth, I saw the wreck that she truly was. 

"Thankyou for a lovely evening Mapi and Ingrid, the dinner was delicious," Alana weakly smiled at her two friends, "I think it's best for me to leave now."

I watched her walk out of the room, hearing the door slam behind her. Relieved to know that she was finally gone, I sat back down. 

"I'm going to go and check on her," Gabby then pushed out her chair.

"I think that's a good idea," Ingrid agreed, "I'll go with you."

"Thankyou for dinner Mapi," Gabby nodded, then looked to me, said nothing and walked out of the room followed by Ingrid.

Then there was silence.

I looked to Mapi, hoping she'd say something. Anything. 

Mapi shook her head at me, pushing the food around her plate, "You've got to find a way to be civil with her."

Like I'd said before and like I'd say forever, it would never happen. Alana and me would never get along, we'd never agree and yet still, it seemed we'd never be able to avoid each other but with each encounter, my distain towards the blonde grew, her image in my head darkened.

Alana Foden was bad news, no one else seemed to see it yet, but I knew one day they all would. One day they'd all know that I'd been right.