The Healing Project

A broken fairytale pt. 2

If I gathered my strength,
If I climbed out of the canyon,
If I managed to strike my fear
Into the pit where it banished me,

If I crossed the rotting bridge,
If I banged on the new gates of the castle,
If I shouted what I wrote in this book,
That I want to talk to you again,

Would you let me in?

Would the gates open, the door unlock,
Would I be allowed to be
Maybe not the king ruling beside you,
But a member of the palace, present in your future?

Or would the defenses come out,
Like they did in the first days I called out to you.
Would the archers shoot their arrow-words
From the safety of the impenetrable castle walls,
Hitting the bullseye of their target?

Would the guards come
And take me away,
Warning and threatening me
To never come back?

Would I be thrown out
Maybe back into the pit with my fear,
Maybe back into the outside unknown world
Where another monster awaits?

A child would expect
That the hero never gives up.
That the moral is "keep trying."
That "the third time's the charm."

But if I tried again and again to get in,
And the answer was always the defense activation.
If I stopped trying would it be giving up?
Or would it be accepting your wishes?

Real life isn't a fairytale guys.

I'm not a fearless and brave knight,
And I'm not a hopeful innocent child
Who believes everything will end
With a happily ever after.

There are too many ifs and uncertainties in my story.

But the though of a possibility,
Of not withering away in this pit,
Is sometimes giving me the strength
To get to my feet and brush off the dirt.

My first new fight is to get out of the canyon.
Take it one foothold at a time.
And when I get to the top,
I can decide which way to go.