I've just continued to read the book,
Hoping I can fall into it's story
And disappear like I usually do.
Sometimes I read for more than five hours straight
And I forget everything.
My hunger, my thoughts,
The needs of my body and mind.
I don't like having an empty mind
I prefer loud blasting music
Rather than numbing silence.
These days, I don't like being left alone.
Anyway, I found another
Horribly ironic coincidence.
Here it is:
Sam says
"My fear burns into ash,
And I see all the lies
I fooled myself into believing."
Apart from your name
Staring at me in the face,
My worst quality is also
Blatantly exposed.
My fear is everything.
It dictates my decisions,
My actions, my answers.
My life.
And I'm scared,
That if one day my fear
Dissipates into nothing,
I'll see.
I'll see all the lies
I fooled myself into believing.
Like the reason I left you.
Of not being enough.
Or maybe they're not lies.
After all,
That's what my fear tells me.
I'm not free from it.
I've never been free from it.
It's a silent and paralyzing illness
That grips your heart and squeezes hard.
And now I'm more scared than ever,
Because I fear me,
The actions I've done, the ones I could do,
But I also fear you.
Because whether you like it or not,
Some part of me belongs to you,
And you have all the power
To break it.
You probably will.
You don't care about me anymore.
But knowing the most likely outcome
Doesn't make it less painful.
People think not knowing
Is what makes me scared.
But knowing
Can be just as terrifying.
YOU ARE READING
The Healing Project
RomanceIF FOUND: Feel free to read, then please return to Luke Gray. This is Luke's private journal. The key contents? Pain, love, loss, and reflection. His message to the world: Remember, one decision changes everything. Follow him down a rabbit hole of t...
