Who loves me? And who do I love? - Beastars x reader

Chap 14, No More Loose Ends

Y/N Pov

After everything that has happened today my body feels drained, the need to rest my eyes for a moment is very tempting. Yet my mind betrays me, no matter how tired my body may feel my thoughts on everything that just happened keep me up. " Why would Haru do this to me? How could Louis do this to me? Just what did Legoshi want to say to me?" Burying my face in my pillow I let out a muffled yell.

I'm back at square one, alone here with little to no friends. Besides Legoshi I really don't have anyone else. Everyone from drama club looks up to Louis they would probably find fault in me either way. No way will I ever forgive Haru whatever friendship there was it's dead. Then there is Bill. Oh, Bill as much as I don't want to admit it I really do miss him. His actions show he's regretful and wants forgiveness yet his instincts lead him to do the opposite.

Though I have no room to talk, how could I judge one's character when I am no better than any other carnivore. Even if I haven't given into my instincts I know that something is different with me. I crave for something I can not explain and it terrifies me. God, I'm such a mess, with everything happening around me what's happening with me? Maybe I'm not cut out for this kind of life, I wish I could just go back to how everything was.

As I look up to the ceiling my eyes start to close, yet that is short-lived as my phone lets out a loud ding. Looking at the screen I unlock it to view the message, it's from Legoshi. " I know you had a rough day Y/n, but I don't want that to make you lose hope. I will always be there for you and make sure you're safe. Anyway I don't mean to drag on, I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight Y/n."

" Oh Legoshi... Thank you so much." Replying to his message I hold my phone close to my chest. I have to stay strong and I will get through this no matter what, tomorrow I will set things right no more loose ends. With this newfound determination, I am now definitely not going to be able to fall asleep. "Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

(Time Skip brought to you by Bill " Come on guys you know you'll forgive meeee now give me hugggg!")

Y/N Pov

Dragging myself out of bed to make it to class was not fun. I didn't get much sleep thanks to well myself. Passing everyone in the halls it seems that yesterday's events are still fresh I can feel eyes on me and hear whispers here and there. I could care less though because I know the truth and no one can make me feel otherwise. Making my way to first period I already notice Bill is seated working on something. I haven't seen or spoken to Bill in a long time, will things be awkward if I still sit next to him? Well, there is only one way to find out.

" Good morning." I greet him and without glancing up from his paper he only nods back. I would've thought he'd want to say more, but I shouldn't complain for all I know this could be just as awkward for him. Taking my seat I take out my own supplies and wait for the lesson to begin. Taking small glances at him every now and then his eyes never left his paper, since the beginning of class that's all he's been working on.

As class nears its end I take one last glance and without realizing I put my hand on Bill's shoulder and my hands start to tremble along with his body. The paper he was once working so intently on was now drenched in his tears his jaw locked trying not to let a cry out. " Goodness Bill what happened are you alright??" Despite everything I still care for him. " Are you in any pain? Do need to go to the nurses? Excuse me? May I take Bill to the nurses?" Getting the okay from the teacher I take Bill by the hand and lead him out of the classroom.

"We're getting close to the nurse when you get settled in I'll go back to get your things so don't worry about going back." As I turned to speak to him I noticed he stopped walking and in his hand was the paper. " What's that paper, Bill? Is it important?" Reaching out to take it from his hands he suddenly falls to his knees holding the paper above his head. " I wrote this letter to you. In this letter, I wrote how sorry I was for hurting and betraying your trust and how awful I felt about how my actions affected you. I wrote that I would never bother you again and that I would stay out of your way."