Attachment ~ The Master [Doctor Who] (FINISHED!)

•11• Heart to hearts •11•

"What are you going to do, shrink me?"
I slightly crawled away.

"I might, yeah."
He said in a harsh tone.
There was rage in his eyes as he lost all patience. I was truly convinced this is it, the end of me.

"I can assure you, we didn't plan it."
I answered carefully, though it didn't satisfy him. Not a complete lie. We didn't plan for me being stuck here, too, that's for sure.

"First you join UNIT,"

"Are you serious?? Are we really going to sit now and compare the amount and value of betrayals of trust between us?"
I spat. If I am going to die now, I should at least let out everything before I go.
"Because I think you've done so, so much, and so much worse."

"When you LOVE someone, you are supposed to be LOYAL. I protected you from all the-"

"The monsters YOU brought? Oh please. Yet you were the greatest danger of all."
I hissed.
He squinted his eyes, trying to find an answer underneath all his anger.

"As much as it hurt me, my loyalty will always be with the Master. And YOU? You are so eager to express that you are not him, do you now, doctor?"

"SHUT UP!"
It was the first time he physically attacked, pinning me down to the dirt.

"Dangling my life above me, threatening and manipulating me over and over again, refusing to listen to my pleas... is this your love?"
A loose tear ran down my cheek.
"You've never ACTUALLY thought about how I truly felt. You always thought things would go your way."

"Well this is how human brains work. You'd get over yourself eventually."

"You never actually cared, did you?"
I gripped his arms as tight as I could so he couldn't hurt me.
"You made me believe you are thoughtful. But you only think of yourself."

"No! This isn't true!"
He retaliated. I used this moment of weakness to toss him off me.

I managed to crawl away a bit as I restored my breath, realising I have nowhere to run on this small, empty moon. His expression was unreadable as he recovered, brushing the dirt off him.

"Just kill me now. Kill me. Deliver on your words. And if there was any worth in what we had before- make it quick."
I tried to be brave for the last time, though my voice was shaking.

...
Nothing.
Why isn't he doing anything?
Why isn't he saying anything?

"Come on,"
I insisted as he looked at me.
"J-Just get it over with.
You know I'll never forgive you."

"You think I don't know that?"
He said in a tired, raspy voice as he looked down.

It seems that my words got to him. Deep.

"I've done so many things in my so many faces and uncountable centuries of life. Terrible, terrible things that'll make you a billion times more disgusted. Things beyond what you read and witnessed. The UNIT records barely scratch the tip of the iceberg."

I had a feeling, yeah. But hearing it from him is so much more terrifying.

"Falling in love with a mortal human only causes trouble. I've always laughed at the doctor for being so weak.
I've always been in control when I let anyone in my life."
He put a hand through his hair.

"But not you. Never with you.
I curse the day I met you, the time I was too vulnerable, the moment I let you into my hearts. But I wouldn't have it any either way."
He confessed, finally looking at me.
"I don't know who I am anymore. I do know that I am still too attached, and I can't let go. No matter how much you hate or betray me. Not even if you kill me."

I didn't know what to say. I didn't even notice that he got closer.
He put a hand on my cheek and leaned in, but I silently stopped him by putting a hand on his chest.

He leaned back and looked away with his sad, almost innocent, dark eyes.
He almost collapsed face-first as he coughed out more golden smoke.
It's too early into his regeneration, and he barely had time to rest.

He didn't bother searching for comfort as he pet the ground to try and find a good spot. Even after everything that went down, it hurt me to see him like that.
As he coughed out again, I took his weak figure to rest in my arms.

"I can't recover from this regeneration. Somehow, she manages to fight back..."

"Good."

"Good?"

I took his hand.
"If she returns to this body, you will return to yourself."

He didn't answer to that statement. He leaned on my chest, listening to my single heartbeat as his eyes fluttered shut.

I put a gentle hand in his hair as I thought back to my past with this man.
All the best and worst moments in my life were with him.

I used to wish that we never met, but what would I be without him?
Still living a boring, plain and same life in a town? I would've gotten sick of it at some point.

I got to work in a secret intelligence company and be an important leader, I got to protect the earth, I got to meet outstanding people, but the most important thing is... I got to love. And to feel loved. Even if it was just for a bit.

I wish we had more time to bake cookies together again. I wish we could properly garden. I wish I could drift off to sleep in his loving embrace with the drumming sound of his hearts. I wish we could take a stroll around the neighbourhood.
I wish...
I wish...

He shook in my arms as he coughed again.

If only the situation wasn't too complicated, if only we didn't go too far...
If only we had more time...

I don't know how long I've been pondering, but he seemed recovered enough when the TARDIS returned, just as he expected.

As he stood strong, he gave me one last look before the machine completely materialised.

He's going to play bad guy as long as he can. It's not like he can do a lot in his state. He knows he doesn't have much time left.

I silently nodded, understanding.
Not fully agreeing.
But I get him.

Yaz opened the TARDIS door.
As her eyes landed on me, she was almost surprised to see me alive. And in my normal size.
I did have a few bruises from when we tackled each in our argument, but they were already fading away.

"Better?"

"I'm sorry."
She answered him, hesitant.

"Are you? Truly?"

"Came back, didn't I?"

Convinced, he confidently entered the TARDIS. I trailed behind, and Yaz nodded, almost approving my arrival.
Looks like she decided I was trustable enough to let me in.

"We could have fun, you know? I am fun. Different type of fun, but fun. We could travel. You'll see."
He told her in a surprisingly kind and gentle manner.

I noticed another person there, in the corner of my eye, but I said nothing.

Whatever happens next is out of my control.