You Give Me Fever || Michael Jackson

Chapter 30: His Initials Are M.J.J...

"Michael, you're being ridiculous," I accuse softly. "You did not kill Billie."

He's shaking now. I've never seen him this way before.

"I-I-I caused the death of.. B-Billie," he stutters, his voice deeper than normal.

Charlie and Jasper don't know what to do or say, either. I don't blame them for being that way.

"Michael, it was her choice to kill herself. I mean, no offence to Charlie and Jasper, but she was a little bit of a nut," I say.

"None taken," Charlie assures me.

He has a faint smile on his face, but it's only to hide the pain he's feeling, having just lost his sister-in-law.

I look Charlie's way. "Do you know who found the letter that Billie wrote? The.. the suicide note?"

Charlie swallows, forcing back tears. "Uh.. yeah. Her dad.. m-my father-in-law."

"Does he like you a lot, your father-in-law?" I ask.

Charlie nods. "Yes, we're real close."

"Maybe tomorrow, we could go see him, and read the note, see what the precise wording was?" I suggest.

Charlie looks at Jasper for guidance, and Jasper nods.

"Yes.. I'd like that," he answers finally.

"That's decided then. Who knows, maybe she said something that will make Michael quit blaming himself for her death," I say.

I suddenly feel a hard grasp on the front of my shirt, and I look to see Michael holding onto me, forcing me to look in his eyes.

"Look, Becky, I killed the woman! I should be in jail for this!" he yells in my face.

"No you shouldn't, Michael! Quit blaming yourself for a decision that she made herself!" I retort angrily.

I'm angry because he just took a hold of me with such violence, then shouted right at me.. he's really showing different sides today!

I know he's angry, but he doesn't have to take that out on me!

"How the hell do you expect me to quit blaming myself, huh?! I led that girl to her freakin' death, and you're seriously saying I should quit blaming myself?!" he retaliates.

His voice is a mix of anger, guilt, and fear - but mostly fear.

I place my hand on his, which is holding onto the front of my shirt, and attempt to force his grasp off of me.

"You don't need to take this out on me! I'm being realistic!" I scream.

"Realistic?!" Michael scoffs. "Yeah, realistic would be blaming me! Get a hold of yourself, woman!"

"No, I won't get a hold of myself!" I hiss. "You're already doing that pretty well yourself! Remember I have a child inside of me, Michael!"

He looks down at his hand, which still grasps onto my shirt, and he loosens his grip a little.

"Just look on the damn realistic side, Becky! I'm the one who killed Billie, end of story!"

I force his grasp off of me entirely, and face Charlie and Jasper, ignoring Michael's last words.

"So, you wanna go see your father-in-law tomorrow, then?" I reassert.

Charlie and Jasper nod. "Yeah, we do."

"Alright, now, seeing as it's 3am, let's try get some sleep," I say softly.

The boys nod, but Michael doesn't react. Good, I don't need his reaction. There was no need for him to handle me so violently a moment ago.