When you fall

Chapter 10

I leave in three days. Three. Sometimes I just want to Stop Drop and Roll. And lay there in a little ball and sleep. Or cry. Either is acceptable. I'm supposed to feel excited and happy about a new beginning, but I can't help but feel nauseous at the thought of it. Like my stomach is literally turning around on the inside. And my heart. It just keeps beating faster and faster.
No. This can't happen again. I can't have another one. Especially not alone without Wes.

Wes, I think. Wes. I need to call Wes.

My heart continues to beat and I try to control  my breathing but noting is working. I fumble through my bed sheets for my phone. Starting to get blurry vision. My hands shake, but I do manage to find my phone and dial Wes. He picks up at the third ring.

"Heyo!" He says happily. And I hear his pen drop on the desk in the background.
"Wes-" I try to say, but my breath hitches and I can't get words out.
His chair squeaks.
"Ally? Breathe okay? Count to ten. I'm on my way." I hear him running around in his room and the keys jingle somewhere around the sound of his voice being steady.
"I- you," but it doesn't work. I collapse onto the floor next to my bed and tears run down my face. I hear Wes say something, but my phone is to far from me to hear his actual words. All I heard next was him muttering a curse louder than under his breath.

One, two, three, four. I count in my head. I take another breath and count all the way to ten and back.

I hear footsteps coming to my room and I desperately try to hide the heavy breathing, incase my dad walks in. And when my door opens my heart sinks.
He rushes over to me, I try and keep my calm but he of all people see through me.
"Alls? Allisson!" My dad folds his hands around my face keeping my gaze on him.
I fold my shaking hand around his arm. Taking a deep breath. I see the worry in his eyes. And it breaks my heart having him see me like this. I shake my head.
"You're going to be okay. I'm going to call someone okay?" He says reaching for his pocket.
"No! D- don" I hear my breaking voice.

"It's okay, she called me." Wes's voice breaks into the atmosphere.
He rushes to my side and steadies my head and holds my arm. He says something to my dad and he nods. I close my eyes.

"Ally, are you counting?" He says.
"I wanna hear you count okay?"
"One, tw-" I can't
"Look at me. My eyes. What colour are they?"
I open my eyes and focus on the tints of blue and mixed greens.
"Okay, that's it, now count."
One. "One."
Two. "Two."
My breath steady and my hands at ease. I finish counting. I still cry though. But not out of anxiousness, but out of pain, and sadness.

Wes sits next to me and holds me in his arms, soaking his shirt, yet again, with tears.
I hear footsteps and Wes and my dad exchange a few words. I don't look up, I don't want to see my dad or see him hurt.

I feel another weight next to me. And Wes lets go of me slightly, letting my dad hold me.
"I'm so sorry, honey. I didn't know, if I knew I'd have helped you in any way I could." My dad says with a bit of brokenness in his voice.

"I'm sorry dad." I say through tears.
"No, no. You don't have to say sorry. I'm just glad Wes was hear to help." He says look at Wes. I know this, because as Wes speaks, he hands my dad toiletpaper, "It's my pleasure sir."
I dare look at my dad, and he wipes a tear from my cheek with his thumb, and hands me toiletpaper.
"Thank you dad, I love you."
"I love you too, honey." He says with a sincere smile.
"I'll leave you two." Wes says. Grabbing his keys on my desk.

"No, Wes, stay, I'll leave you two." My dad says as ge stands up and helps me up. He looks at me and places a kiss on my head as he straightens my hair.
"Are you sure?" Wes asks, a bit nervous.
My dad pats him on the shoulder and says, "Yeah, no, I'll talk to her a little later." And he smiles and walks out, closing the door behind us.

Wes stands completely still, like a statue. I'm not really sure what to do. So I sit on my bead. Wiping my face.

"I don't think doing this was a good idea." I dare say.
"Why?" Wes takes a seat next to me.
"I'm scared. I'm terrified. I'm afraid I've fallen for you. And I don't want us to hurt when I leave."

Wes shifts next to me. I feel him holding me, placing a precious, soft kiss on my head.
"You want me to go?" He asks.

I really don't want him to, but it might be for the best. This has to be the last time I see him. I'm done with my exams. I'm done with school. I won't have to see him again. I know we made the deal to kiss before I leave, but I'm afraid I might not want to leave.

"No, stay." I say instead.
He doesn't hesitate. He lifts my face to his and kisses my cheek. I smile.

"I knew it would work." He grins.
"Kissing me?"
"Hel yeah." He says. Leaning in again.
He's going to kiss me for real.
I want to lean in, but I dodge and we end up hitting our foreheads together.
I laugh.

"What was that." Wes muffles his laughing.
"I thought you might kiss me! So I dodged." I slap his shoulder. Still somewhat laughing.
He shakes his head while smiling. I know he's trying to keep from laughing at me.
"No, who says I wanted to kiss you? Maybe I just wanted to kiss your nose, or lean in," he leans in and grabs a coke from my nightstand, "to get this."
He wiggles the can in-front of my face.
I instantly frown and look behind me.

"How did that get there?"
"Your dad got it, I asked if there is something sugary I could give you and he brought you this." He opens the can and takes a sip from it.
"Ahh, refreshing." He says making a 'mmmhhh' sound from his throat. A really nice deep 'mmhh' that my heart spins.

"There she is." He smiles. I look away. I'm blushing. He takes my chin and lightly and turns my face to look at him.

"I really do wanna kiss you though." He says softly and deep. His eyes keep dipping to my mouth and back to my eyes.

"Me too" I whisper. And I feel the distance wanting to close between us. Our faces mere millimeters from one another.