When you fall

Chapter 3

I lean on the closed door. My head rests on the wood and I'm still in shock of Wes kissing my cheek. Before, I thought that this little crush I had for Wes was not all bad, that was until he leaned in and placed his lips on my cheek. and some how, I'm not mad. I would think that is how I would feel, because of all the times a guy friend had kissed me, it never lead me speechless like this. My dad might be right, maybe I should give Wes a chance, but at what cost?

I decide to stop arguing about if I should give Wes a chance, and turn to my right and continue to my room. I shove a few more empty, newly folded boxes into my room, and start packing my decorations I have held on to not pack until the last possible moment.

A few hours of packing and repacking go by, accompanied with a  few episodes of New Amsterdam and maybe a little too many jam sessions in between. By now I had replayed Wes's lips moving in closer to me for the millionth time. If a kiss on my cheek does that to my brain, what will the real deal do?

Cara: Sooo, how is packing going?

I had completely forgotten about telling Cara the news, if one can argue that as news. But I continue typing back the moment in clear detail. I might have exaggerated a few seconds, but who's counting?

My phone ringing brakes the silence and the moment I had replayed, again. And I pick up to answer Cara's call.

"STOP! He did not!" Cara yells through the ear piece.
"I know right? I couldn't believe it either. Still can't" I place my phone on the stack of boxes next to my desk and put it on speaker as I continue scavenging for anything to fit in the little spaces in the now somewhat full boxes.

"So how do you feel about Prince charming?" Cara asks thoughtfully.
"To be honest Cara, I don't really know. My dad really likes him, who can't? I just don't know if I can handle it, spending four years apart is not on my bucket list, and neither is a relationship."
Cara gets quiet, which is not a good sign, she usually has bad ideas, but then, "What if you don't move away? Than we can live together like we always dream about. They have plenty of Geography courses here, I am sure your mom will understand."
My stomach turns and I suddenly want to cry.

It's not that I haven't thought of not moving, I have looked for other places near here to study, and ther are really good Geography universities here.

"It's not that easy Cara, you know my step mom and I don't get along, and I'd hate to know my mom is all alone in Belgium." My heart sinks at the thought of leaving Cara and my dad here, but also thinking about how alone my mom would be without me is heartbreaking. I know she wants to give me the world, but I love her too much to leave her there alone. She is like me in that sense, we work too hard for what we want to have time or patience for love.

"Hey, yeah I get that, I wouldn't want to leave my mom alone in Belguim, heck, maybe I should move with you, I'm sure I could work in a hospital there somewhere." She laughs.

I'm glad she gets that. That's why she's my best friend.
"Okay but I have to go sleep now, I am tired and I might start hallucinating that my cat can talk." Cara says through a yawn.
"Okay sleepy head, go sleep now before your mom walks in and sees your phone."
She laughs, "Ohhh noo, we wouldn't want that." Cara answered, and hung up.

I'm left alone again with the silence and a room filled with boxes. Something about this sight is eerie. The room I'd grown up in for 12 years is now suddenly almost empty. I run through a Power point presentation of memories in mind of all the silly things that had happned over the years. And lastly my eyes land on the floor beneath my desk ,where Wes had dropped his calculator. I subconsciously smile at the thought. My hand reaches for the spot on my cheek he had kissed a few hours ago. How does one feel when you first encounter love? Could I truly be falling for Wes? Or is that just an effect he has on people?

Might he be an experiment from the FBI or Secret services to see how one can gain trust? I'm just tired, so I break eye contact with the spot on my floor and go shower, I then climb into my cozy pyjamas and into my bed, snuggling my stuffed animals that will be traveling with me in my suitcase. Call me crazy, but they understand me, they see every tear and read every text that I never would send. They're company.

I drift off into a cozy sleep, where tomorrow is around the corner.