Timeloop Trouble

Chapter 19 - And Again

There were flashes and bangs and screams, but for once Izuku didn't feel triggered by any of it. No, because these were cameras and party poppers and people cheering them on. This was graduating at the most prestigious hero school of the country, even after all the setbacks they faced. The League, Shigaraki, All For One... They hadn't been easy to defeat, not this time and not the times before that. And the fact that Jikan had seemingly disappeared didn't settle well with Izuku, either.

Someone turned his head, holding onto his chin as they grinned at him.

"We fucking did it, nerd," Katsuki said. He was almost as happy as he was when they graduated for real during their first lives. Well, Izuku supposed they hadn't really been able to graduate in any of the other time loops before... And it was a really nice feeling. "We showed them we still fucking got it."

Ah, that's right. They went through extensive therapy during their first year of high school. It took a while before they could fully trust each other again, to be able to depend on each other in a way that didn't compromise their personal autonomy. Yet here they were, together again and stronger than ever.

"That's the Wonder Duo for you," Izuku laughed, leaning into Katsuki's touch. He was happy the way things were now, tried not to let his thoughts about Jikan ruin what they were celebrating today. No, Izuku needed to savor these little victories while he could. There was no need to worry about the uncertainties of the future, not right now, not today.

"Hell yeah," Katsuki laughed, leaning in to kiss those wobbly lips as Izuku started to tear up. Yeah, this was perfect. So so close to perfect. He should've known they'd fuck up somehow, sooner or later. Izuku blinked as he awoke to the doctor after being so so close to actually stopping Jikan from using the machine. They'd gone into hiding abroad, making it such a mess to track them down. So while the heroes were buried in legal applications and paperwork, they were happily tweaking away at their rewind machine.

And now they had to try all over again.

And again.

And again.

And...again.

There was a timeline in which Izuku had tried to convince Tenko he could be a hero, and it failed. There was another where he succeeded, but failed to stop the Jikan nonetheless. There was a timeline in which he won the sportsfestival three times in a row. One where they had arrested basically all Jikan members, thinking it was all over, only for one to remain and activate the machine when they least expected it. There were timelines filled with dates and hang outs and cuddles and movie nights, and there were timelines filled with battle and blood and trauma and scars.

Izuku blinked, staring blankly at the doctor, watching his mouth move without actually hearing the words. How long had it been by now? How many loops had they circled through? How many times had he dreamed of the vestiges for the first time? Had he seen the worry in their faces when they realized what was going on? How long had it been since he brought Kacchan's memories back before middle school..? Because that was a whole other thing, wasn't it? Izuku started procrastinating on reminding people of who they were.

He was hesitating each and every time again, spiraling back into the bad habit of carrying the world alone. Of trying to do everything by himself, of trying to spare his friends and family this trauma, this experience they never asked for. In the end, he always ended up telling Kacchan one way or another. A simple 'Jump off the roof and die' would do the trick every time. And wasn't that just cruel? To have that moment be the trigger? To force Izuku to remember the worst thing Kacchan had ever said to him and say it back to the ash blonde over and over again.

Then there was Jikan, whose members tried to sabotage his life at every corner. Interfering with the quirk transfer, with his missions, his internships. Everything they could possibly mess with. Izuku tended to try and act oblivious to it, pretending like this was his first run through as to not give away when he regained his memories. Because that was the one edge he still had on them: they didn't know when Izuku awakened, just like Izuku didn't know when or where they had set their point zero, the point to which everything returned to.