Timeloop Trouble

Chapter 4 - Never Meet Your Heroes

"I don't deserve it, Kacchan," Izuku sobbed. "I can't... I can't ask that of him! Not after what happened- After what I did-"

"Oi, that's not true," Katsuki snapped. "Listen to me, Izuku. You deserve to have that quirk, alright? You deserve it and All Might will still think so too even after he regains his memories, you'll see."

They were standing in an empty classroom after school as Izuku had a meltdown. Today was the day he'd meet All Might for the first time, the day of the sludge villain, the day he would be told he could be a hero. They'd grown up together this time, staying friends throughout the years even if Izuku was quirkless, which caused others to treat him better too. Bullying still happened, but it wasn't as frequent as it used to be, and teachers were actually fair to him, too.

Yeah, on the surface Izuku had gotten the childhood he always dreamt of. But deep down they were both so entangled in the trauma of their past lives they just couldn't separate from each other, wouldn't separate. Because even though Izuku had been told countless times it wasn't his fault, even if he started to believe the outcome of that fight would have always been the same no matter what- It hurt. It hurt and it would never stop hurting. Because he killed his idol, his mentor, his father figure, and he'd never forgive himself for that.

So why would All Might? Why would he still give him One For All, knowing what he'd done? Because that was the plan, right? Izuku would meet him today and instead of asking if he could become a hero, he'd make All Might remember. Then All Might would know where the sludge villain would pop up and save Kacchan before he was attacked. And then, Kacchan had said, Izuku would be handed One For All once more. That's what they'd been training for, that's why Izuku had built up all this muscle mass: in order to properly handle the quirk from the start.

But what if All Might didn't want to give him One For All anymore? Izuku knew he wasn't worthy, knew he wouldn't want the sacred torch to fall into the hands of a murderer. Because that's what he was now, wasn't he? A murderer. A killer. The one who caused the downfall of the symbol of peace. Ha, guess he and Kacchan had that title in common now. Was this how miserable the ash blonde felt back then, too? When he thought he was the reason All Might's flame got snuffed out?

"So stop overthinking this and get going!" Katsuki said. "Don't wanna be late on your big day, right?"

"R-right," Izuku sniffled, wiping away his tears. He just had to push through and get this over with. Whatever All Might decided today... Izuku would support it. He wouldn't blame him for giving OFA to Mirio. He wouldn't be mad or sad, at least not in his face. Whatever the outcome, Izuku knew he was going to cry his eyes out in the solidarity of his bedroom tonight, and he was not looking forward to that.

"You've got this," Katsuki said, patting him on the back before pulling out his phone. "I should get going too, the extras are waiting for me."

"Have fun at the arcade," Izuku said, forcing a smile.

"I'll beat the shit out of those losers, you'll see," Kacchan grinned, pecking him on the cheek before dragging him through the hall with him. "Come on, let's get this show on the road!"

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Being attacked by the sludge villain left him on the verge of a panic attack. The way his throat restricted as the foreign material made its way inside reminded him too much of the intubation, of forced feeding, and it made him feel nauseous and freaked out. All Might had assured him he was okay now, that the villain was apprehended and wouldn't cause any more trouble. He'd signed Izuku's notebook as he thanked him for saving him, yet he couldn't look the man in the eye. The sight of the number one hero...somehow left a bitter taste in his mouth.