cinema [h.s.]

chapter forty seven.

⚠️ HOSPITALS / TALKS OF PREGNANCY COMPLICATIONS AND BLEEDING.

May 12, 2021.

18 weeks and 6 days.

Harry didn't come home last night.

I sat at the corner sofa until three am, thinking maybe he just needed a few hours to himself and then he'd come back and we could talk it out.

But he didn't come back.

I spammed his phone with endless calls, which all went straight to voicemail. It took me over an hour to finally reach him by text and I only got a two worded response, "I'm fine."

I know that's a lie though. I know that he's far from fine. My words hurt him deeply, It was obvious by the way his body went slack the second the dreaded words left my mouth.

His eyes were not only full of tears, but also betrayal. I made a promise to him that I would never, under any circumstances, play the biological dad card and I broke that promise.

I broke the promise he was afraid to ask me to make. I broke the promise I told him I would never break. I broke him with my unfair choice of words.

I know he does everything in his power to keep Ivy safe. Every decision he makes, he makes while thinking about me, Ivy and our growing family.

When I first caught wind of the video, I got physically sick. I puked in a shopping bag that was in the backseat of Mila's car. The way paparazzi treated him as if he were an object and not a human, sickened me.

It broke my heart to see my little girl bawling her eyes out in Harry's arms while he did everything he possibly could to keep her safe. He shoved paparazzi out of the way, yelled in their face and even cussed at them in front of Ivy, and that's something he doesn't do often.

As a mother who's gaining popularity in Hollywood, most of it coming from being linked to Harry, the only thing I want to do is protect my child.

I've only ever posted her face on Instagram once and it will be the last time I do so, especially after yesterday's events. I wanted to protect her from not only Ashton, but from the media as well and I failed miserably.

I've failed at protecting my child and I've failed at keeping a promise. I know Harry did everything he could. Anyone that watched the video could see that. I've read countless articles over the past few hours of people applauding Harry's urge to automatically protect Ivy instead of himself.

I turn on my side, wincing at a sharp pain that strikes through my lower side. I barely slept. I came and laid down a little after three when I realized Harry wasn't coming home.

I tossed and turned for what felt like hours before my body finally shut down and I was able to get a few hours of sleep.

All I could hear the second I closed my eyes was the question Ivy asked me as I was tucking her into bed.