cinema [h.s.]

chapter four.

august 25, 2020.

The little get away to Johnny's place with Harry last week was needed more than I thought.

I never realized just how cooped up Ivy and I are. We never go out, unless it's with Mila or Drew.

I think part of me is scared. Scared that i'll somehow run into Ashton or someone from his family, and they'll beg to be in Ivy's life.

I've been a single mom for three years now. I haven't had a dime given to me by Ashton or his family. He's supposed to start paying child support soon, according to the court, but I highly doubt that will ever happen.

On another note, seeing Harry so vulnerable last week at Johnny's, really opened my eyes on just how bad the media portrays celebrities.

He nearly broke down in front of me. I could see the tears forming in his eyes when he looked at me.

And could heard the hurt in his voice. His voice shook as he tried to explain to me how he had been feeling about his new album.

It broke me.

All I wanted to do was engulf him in a big hug. But, I also didn't want to make him uncomfortable in any way, shape or form.

Audrey, Chris and Florence are coming over to meet Ivy and I today. They want to make sure she is comfortable around them, seeing as there will be cast dinners i'll be attending and they've already asked if Ivy could come along with for some of them.

Gemma and Nick both had scheduling conflicts, but I'm supposed to meet them for lunch in a few days once they get back.

I've talked to both of them on FaceTime though, and they seem rather lovely.

As for Harry, he might show up. He doesn't know yet. He texted me saying he had some meeting with his publicist regarding a few things. He didn't go into detail, and I didn't want to pressure him. He seemed nervous though.

I sigh, throwing my head back as I stand at the kitchen island. I hear Ivy's bedroom door squeak open and pop my head up. My eyes nearly bulge out of my head when I see her.

"Ivy that is not what I picked out for you!" I breathe, groaning in frustration as Ivy comes out of her room, absolutely covered in paint and wearing an outfit from the back of her closet.

"But it's pretty mama! And look! I painted my arms!" Ivy squeals, holding out her arms.

I sigh, running a hand over my face. Audrey and the crew will be here in 20 minutes, and my child is now covered in bright orange paint.

Where she got it from? I have no clue. And I really, really don't want to know right now.

"Ivy." I scold, "why did you cover yourself in paint?" I watch as Ivy's face crumbles, her eyes filling with tears. I don't mean to take my anxiousness out on her, but i'm nervous.