cinema [h.s.]

chapter thirty.

⚠️ TW: TALKS OF BODY ISSUES.

December 31, 2020.

"Babe, are you ready?" Harry hollers from the kitchen.

I huff and look at myself in the mirror, frowning.

I spent nearly two hours digging through every inch of my closet to find something to wear and I hate everything.

I eventually settled on a black dress but even that isn't making me feel sexy. Tonight was supposed to be a fun, sex filled, kid free night and by the looks of it, Harry and I aren't going to make it out the door.

And it's all because of me and the issues I have with my body.

"Ro? Are you- hey, what's wrong?" Harry appears in the bathroom doorway, frown lines wrinkling his forehead.

Tears form in my eyes and I shake my head. "Nothing."

I glance up in the mirror and Harry's giving me his famous don't lie to me look. I turn to face him and sigh.

"I don't feel sexy." I mumble, looking down at my feet and refusing to meet my eyes with his. It feels stupid to even say that outloud. I'm a grown woman, upset over how my body looks in a dress that I bought.

I immediately feel Harry's ring cladded hands grip my waist and pull me closer to his body. "Why don't you feel sexy?"

I shrug and pull on the hem of the dress. It's gripping my thighs too tight and the texture of it hugs every inch of me that I'm insecure about.

It's so tight that it enhances the stretch marks on my thighs I gained when I got pregnant with Ivy. It's one of my biggest insecurities. I've tried my hardest to learn how to love them but I can't.

I know that my body grew a baby for nine months and that I should love my body for housing my daughter and keeping her safe, but I don't.

It's so hard and no one around me seems to understand.

Harry gently grasps my jaw with his thumb, lifting it so that our eyes are level and I'm forced to look at him. "What's bothering you?"

"I just... I don't know!" I groan in frustration. I don't know how to verbally explain the way I'm feeling other than through frustration and tears.

It's so hard to find the right words.

"Hey, it's okay." Harry frowns, rubbing my cheek, "Is it your body? The outfit? What's making you feel this way?"