"Thank you for meeting me." The red head was quick to comment as soon as Deputy Director Hill sat down across from her. Natasha had chosen their regular cafe, well, it was once their regular before everything became ruined. Before Natasha's betrayal.
It was a quiet quaint place. Exactly what both women liked, no one recognised them here. And if anyone did, it wouldn't be for the reason you'd expect. The words 'Avenger' or 'SHIELD' were foreign to a small place like this. The elderly lady behind the till would smile fondly at her favourite married customers. The waiter would place their favourite coffees onto the table, an espresso and a flat white, and tell them to enjoy.
"Get on with it, Natasha." Agent Hill sighed, bored.
Natasha had turned up at her door a few nights prior with grief and guilt sporting her features whilst Maria had shock and devastation written across her face. Why did Natasha choose to come back now? Maria had shut the door in her face, only agreeing to this meet up via Clint's request (Clint's nagging).
"I'm sor-"
"Natasha, I swear to God, if you apologise one more time I will walk out of that door." Maria had heard all of Natasha's begging and pleading before, she hated it. It wasn't fair, how could Natasha say that she loved her when she was the one that left? She didn't even say goodbye.
"I want to come home." Natasha deadpanned, no more beating around the bush. Direct, exactly what Maria prefers.
"The apartment is in my name." Maria brushed her off, it was a lot nicer than saying 'it's not your home, not since you chose to fucking leave without a goodbye.'
"Not that home, Masha." Natasha tried once again, Maria cringed at the nickname. There was a long pause before Natasha continued. "you, I want to come home to you."
Maria took in a deep breath allowing the sound of the cafe to drown out any of her thoughts, giving herself a minute to just breathe. Hill brought the coffee cup to her lips, the slight burn on her tongue brought her back into the moment.
"I'm not yours." Maria concluded.
"You've always been mine." Natasha deflected, "And you always will be."
Maria wanted to shout at her, to throw her coffee on the floor and storm out but she was never one to act out of anger. She was cool and calculated, a temper tantrum would not suffice.
"That's not fair." she settled on, simple and truthful.
"I never am." the red head responded, Maria couldn't get mad. Maria knew when she married Romanoff that nothing would be easy, but she expected aliens or villains to be the ones that stabbed her in the back, not her wife.
Maria finished the rest of her coffee, not being one to let things go to waste, before staring directly into Natasha's eyes. God how she had missed those eyes, they were like a forest that Maria used to adore. Vibrant and warm, Maria would get lost in them but now they were dim and cold. Any spark Natasha left with did not return with her.
"I'll give Liho and Freya your love." Maria settled on, getting up to leave.
Natasha was quick to her feet, grabbing Hill's forearm. "Can I see her?" Natasha whispered, fearful of the answer.
"She's not yours." Maria yanked her arm out of Natasha's grasp. "Unlike me, Natasha, Freya was never yours. You didn't just walk out on me." Hill turned her back, leaving Natasha alone.
It was true, and Natasha hated to admit it. Their child, Maria's child was not hers. Not legally anyway. Freya would be three now, there wasn't a day that went by when Natasha didn't think about the little girl. Natasha was with Maria throughout the whole pregnancy and all the way up until after the girl's first birthday before she left to help Steve and the others beat the Sokovia Accords.
Freya called Natasha mama and Maria allowed her too, they were a family. Freya was not Natasha's blood but it didn't matter, she was going to adopt the girl. Maria had all the paper work ready and they were so so so happy. But then Sokovia got in the way, Wanda made a mistake, Steve and Tony were at a cross roads. The papers never got signed, both the accords and the adoption paper work. There was a big chance that Freya didn't even remember Natasha.
Natasha couldn't let this happen, she couldn't lose another family. She ran out of the cafe and chased after Maria.
"Maria, Maria, Maria!" she shouted, sounding like a mad woman.
"Nat, it's final." Maria swivelled around to face the shorter woman. "I've got to get back, I can't expect Sharon to babysit her all day." Maria sighed.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Natasha repeated, almost hyperventilating in the middle of the street.
"Nat, I don't want to hear it."
"Please, Maria, I love you. I love her. I love you both. I shouldn't have left." Natasha started up again.
"No, you shouldn't have. We waited for you, you know? The night you didn't come home, we waited up . Freya had drawn you a picture, it was shit but she was so excited to show you! It was us, Natasha!" Maria took a second to breathe, feeling dizzy for finally getting everything off her chest.
"Masha, baby, I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I love you both so much and I shouldn't have gone." Natasha tried again. Maria interrupted her.
"It was all of us happy, three stick figures on a piece of fucking paper. You looked fucking stupid with red crayon just scribbled on top of your head. She had me write 'Mama' and 'Mommy' and 'Frey - Frey' above her little drawing of us. God, I was so excited to show you, Natasha! I was finally fucking happy that we had everything we had ever wanted. A family, even under the circumstances. Even though Freya was brought into the world like, like , like-" Maria grimaced at the memory, she wasn't fond of talking about what happened, often choosing to choose much softer words to describe her rape.
"It, it, it - It doesn't even matter how she was created, because we both love her! You were her mother Natasha! Not by genetics, but you still raised her! You never blamed me for what happened, you helped me through it all. The fucking therapy sessions you held my fucking hand, for fuck sake Natasha you even killed that man! Regardless, we waited up for you. And, you never came home!" Maria had tears escaping her eyes, she felt exhausted.
"Let me prove it to you, let me show you both just how much you mean to me. Let me fix all my mistakes, let me fix it. I can't live without you, without her. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love you so much. You are the strongest woman I know, Masha, I'm so sorry. Words can't even describe my shame for what I did. Even if you never want to see me again please let me see my daughter." Natasha pleaded.
Maria wiped her tears away before taking a deep breath, "Show me." she whispered, Natasha's heart jumped.
"Show me that you can change, that you care." Maria said a little bit louder.
"I will, I will. I promise. I will." Natasha replied quickly, not wanting Maria to change her mind.
"Come over tomorrow. 10am, don't be late or I swear to God Natasha if you're lat-"
"I will be there." Natasha confirmed, she had felt the happiest she had ever been in the last two years. Maria turned to walk away before looking at Natasha one last time.
"She's still got the picture, it's on the wall." and with that Hill walked off.
