"Nat... NAT..NATASHAAA!" Maria screamed.
"WHAT WHAT WHAT-" Natasha came running into their living room, swinging her head around the door. Ready to beat the shit out of the intruder or whatever had made her Masha scream like that. Nat hadn't heard so much fear in the American's voice since a mission at least a decade ago when the Red Room took her, but that a whole other story.
"Natty please help, I'm going to break it" Maria begged, stretching out her arms which held the 6 month old baby to Nat. Natasha chuckled, ready to ridicule her wife but now was not the time. The baby began to cry, Maria's whole body tensed. Maria looked as if she was going to cry too. She couldn't do this, she knew she was stupid to think she could. They'd only had the little girl for two weeks and Maria had almost dropped her at least three times by now.
" Tishe milaya devochka" (hush sweet girl) Natasha whispered kindly into their daughters ear, taking her out of Maria's arms and into her own. "Mia, God! I thought someone was dieing!" Natasha raised her voice, knowing the little girls was in deep sleep, "Don't scream like that" She scolded Maria.
"Someone was diening! Me NAT. I WAS DIEING. I NEARLY LOST HER AGAIN, AND THEN SHE HIT HER HEAD ON THE CHAIR. I ONLY LOOKED AWAY FOR A SECOND. BUT, BUT, BUT SHE WOULDN'T STOP CRYING. AND I THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO DIE, AND THEN I WAS CRYING. WE WERE CRYING TOGETHER. I CHECKED FOR A BRUISE OR A BUMB OR BLOOD, THERE ISN'T ONE BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. SHE'S LIKE A SUPERHERO OR SOMETHING, LOOK AWAY FOR A SPLIT SECOND AND SHE'S ZOOMED OFF INTO THE OTHER ROOM, I CAN'T I JUST I I I - " Maria exclaimed, her face had grown red and she looked as if she was about to cry again. She sunk down to the floor, her back pressed against the bedroom wall, she let out a sob "I can't do this Nat"
"Do what Lybubov?" Of course Natasha wouldn't understand, yes she'd had a traumatic childhood but she had spent a lot of time looking after the little girls in the Red Room. She'd plait their hair because their hands were too small and chubby, slip them food when Madame B punished them. Shush them to sleep when they had nightmares, so the matrons wouldn't beat them. Holding a baby came natural to her. She'd done it so many times before. But, Maria? No. Hell she didn't even know that she wanted a kid before she met Natasha, she knew how desperate Nat was to have a family and Maria too yearned for one. Maria loved Nat, and Nat loved Maria. It only made sense for them to share this love with a child, their child. But motherhood? She felt as if it was impossible. Clearly having overestimated herself. She never had anyone to look up to, not a single mother figure what so ever.
"This" Maria pointed to the bundle of joy in her wife's arms, "I'm just going to let her down Nat. I'm going to be just like him. He was so awful. She's going to resent me almost as much as I resent him" the brunette placed her hands on her face, hiding her tears. Natasha, finally catching on, sucked in a deep breath before carefully sitting down, taking her place next to her wife.
"Mia, we both know that's not true, you're nothing like him" Natasha was careful not to mention his name. Maria's father was vermin, a waste of space. His name was unimportant.
"It is Natty, I can't keep her safe and I can't keep her happy. I love her so much" Maria was down right sobbing, her head leaning on Nat's shoulder. Her tears melting away of Nat's oversized grey hoodie. Maria was so so so wrong, she was nothing like her father. Maria was capable of loving and supporting and caring about someone other than herself, something her father couldn't do.
"Baby, no, hey baby, don't say that. You do keep her safe and you do keep her happy. Love, she's going to hit her head on things regardless if you're looking or not. She's a baby, accidents are basically built into them. They will always be accident prone. They have absolutely no sense of direction what so ever. Kids just bounce back like that I suppose, kinda like a yo-yo. Hell, when Yelena was six she scraped her knee outside but she forgot it even happened five minutes later when she saw so bugs that lit up in the sky. She spent the whole evening trying to pronounce bioluminescent to even remember falling over" Nat stopped talking, realising she's brought her sister up. God she missed her, whare was she now? Was she even alive? "And about keeping her happy Masha, she is happy. But she's also a baby. and, well, babies cry. She still loves you. You are a good mom, you're always going to be the best mom anyone could wish for, I promise." Nat stated, picking the conversation up again.
"are you sure?" Maria sniffled, biting her lip anxiously, Nat simply nodded her head. She knew Maria was already amazing, she often wondered why Masha even doubted herself. The amount of times in the past week Nat had seen her wife singing their baby lullabys and rocking her back and forth proved it. Using one hand to hold their daughter tight and the other hand to stroke reassuring circles onto her wife's hand, Nat kissed Mia's head.
"Now come one, give your daughter a hug" Nat placed her into Mia's arms, she instantly smiled looking down at their precious girl.
"You're safe here bug, me and Mama will never leave you" she placed a kiss onto her head.
"Damn right we are" Natasha giggled, no one could ever take away the love she had for her two girls. They were her family, her home, her life.
