I wish it was me too.

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I want angst. (This is also evidence of lazy writing)

Natasha couldn't cope. Guilt ate at her, biting into her very being. She'd always wanted a child, and yet here she was with her daughter and she couldn't keep herself afloat. The first eight years were amazing, Maria had given birth to a healthy beautiful baby girl. Iris Elizabeth Romanoff - Hill. But all good things must come to an end, neither women were granted the happiness they deserved. 

Iris was their everything, ever since the day she was born. Natasha can still remember like it was yesterday. When they took her home and Maria held her so carefully to terrified to accidentally drop her, Natasha would laugh and go 'Masha, you wont break her' and laugh. Maria would give Nat the 'commander glare' which resulted in them both giggling. They laughed and cried so many times, but they always did it together. 

The family would do everything together, both Natasha and Maria would not allow Iris to have the same childhood both Agents had. Iris was loved, spoilt and cared for. Maria would pretend to be mad when Nat and Iris drew on her bedroom walls or when Nat and Iris would rollerskate around the house. The truth is, Maria loved it. Every mark on their house, such as the small scratches on the floorboards from the rollerblading made her smile. It was evidence that she had a family, a family who loved each other and enjoyed life.

Maria and Iris would often cook together, the little girl was better at cooking than Natasha. Her mama could barely make toast. Iris would assist Maria in the kitchen whilst Nat would sit on the countertops and swing her legs back and forth. Iris would giggle at her mama's behaviour and Nat would pull a funny face before jumping off the side and chase Iris around the kitchen. Maria would laugh at her girls antics. Natasha misses those days.

As I said earlier, nothing lasts forever.

Natasha was in Wakanda, Maria had pleaded her not to go. But Romanoff, as usual thought she had to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. Iris had found them fighting in the kitchen the night before, the now eight year olds cries tore both women away from their staring contest during their argument. Iris held her teddy bear, with the Black Widow emblem close to her chest whilst tear streaks ran down her eyes. Maria scowled at Natasha before running to pick their daughter up and soothe her back to sleep.

"Don't go" Maria whispered sternly to her wife whilst walking past her with a sleeping Iris in her arms, Natasha gave Iris a kiss to her head instead of answering Maria. When Maria came back to the kitchen to finish her argument with Natasha, she was already gone.

The day of the blip was strange, Maria had woken Iris up in the morning to get her dressed as quickly as possible because they needed to rush and see uncle Fury. That's what Maria told her anyway, a eight year old didn't need to know her mommy was a special Agent working for a secret intelligence agency that tries to defend the world. She didn't even know her mama had left home to go to Wakanda, hell the kid didn't even know Wakanda existed. Maria told Iris that Natasha was at work and said their argument the night before was just pretend. Iris simply wiped the sleep from her eyes and nodded her head.

She was in the back of Uncle Fury's car playing a stupid game on her ipad, her bear buckled in next to her. The drive had been smooth but all of a sudden Maria slammed her foot on the breaks, the car in front of them had crashed.

Iris yelped from the sudden stop, Maria immediately turned her head to look at her daughter. To scan for any signs of injury

"Baby, are you okay?" she asked quickly, Iris nodded her head.

"Good, stay in the car. I'll be back in a minute." Maria said more sternly, both her mommy and uncle got out to check what was going on. The little girl didn't know it, but both her parents would never be back 'in a minute'. It should be a running joke by now.

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