We'd been walking through the damp woods for twenty minutes and no one had said a word the only thing we could hear was out boots hitting the damp dirt.
I lingered near the back thoughts racing through my head, what if I was with Charlotte the night she killed wells, what if I never spoke to murphy and he never took me, what if-
"Stop it" Bellamy's voice caused the thought to leave my head. He had been in front of me but somehow ended up next to me.
"What are you talking about?" I asked in confusion my eyes looking up to meet his.
He glanced at me for a moment before looking ahead again, "Stop blaming yourself, there was nothing you could do to stop her"
"I'm not blaming myself" I lied throwing the rock i'd been fiddling with the whole walk.
"You've had the same thinking look on your face for the last twenty minutes." he argued looking down at me. I smirked "So you've been looking at me for twenty minutes?" I teased
he rolled his eyes "What happened was not your fault Ness, she made the choice to jump and her choice was influenced by Murphy so if you wanna blame anyone blame murphy" he told me looking back at me
"But what If I-" "No, no what if there was nothing you could do to stop her, Ok?" he said cutting me of
I nodded "Okay"
"Are you okay?" he said motioning to my to my neck, I touched my neck and felt a line of dry blood where murphys knife was earlier "Yeah i'm fine" I smiled weakly
Bellamy nodded carefully studying my movements as we walked forward. Clarke calling him from up front causing him to look away, we had reached camp meaning it was time to explain to everyone what had happened.
"Go" I told Bellamy with a smile and he nodded and walked away.
"Nessa!" I heard Octavia say while running up to me "Hi Tavia" I smiled, "what happened to your neck" she asked concernedly "Oh it's nothing" I said with a reassuring smile and she nodded
we walked towards the fire where everyone was gathered and listened to what Bellamy and Clarke had to say about what had happened to murphy and charlotte.
"Nessa let me take a look at your neck" Clarke said walking up to me
"Alright Doc" I smiled and followed her to the drop ship
Clarke looked at the small cut then grabbed a wash cloth dipped it in water and began to clean up the cut.
"Alright all done" she smiled pulling away from me
"Thanks" I smiled and hopped off the makeshift table I was sitting on
I was sitting near the fire when my wrist band zapped me making me jump.
I watched Finn and Clarke storm out of camp.
•••
"Nessa! Nessa wake up" Octavia said shaking me as hard as she could
"What?" I asked confused and she just pulled me up and out of the tent
"There" she said pointing to the sky and a crowd gathered around us
"There coming to help us" someone said
Bellamy stood next to me and two girls that he had been with next to him
"Please tell me they brough down some shampoo" one of the girls said making me scoff and roll my eyes. "Right cause the first thing on there mind is your greasy hair" I said then walked off toward a tent we had established as a meeting tent.
I heard Bellamy snicker behind me and follow me to the tent Octavia and one of Bellamy's friends as well.
"If its cleared the ridge it's probably near the lake" The guy said
"We should get moving everyone's ready" Octavia said and I nodded my head in agreement.
"No ones going anywhere" Bellamy stated "Not while it's dark it isn't safe" he added crossing his arms and I shook my head in disbelief.
"We'll head out at first light, pass the word" he finished and nodded towards his friend and he exited the tent, Bellamy tried to follow but I stepped in front of him, "Bellamy everyone within 100 miles saw this thing come down, what if the grounders get to it first" I said.
"Bell we should go now" Octavia added defending me. "I said we wait until sunrise" He said stubbornly and left the tent.
Me and Octavia shared looks "He's definitely hiding something" I said and she nodded.
Neither of us went back to sleep after what had happened and kept watch on Bellamy we watched him secretly leave camp and decided to go after him.
"Bellamy!" Octavia yelled as soon as we were close enough to him and he stoped and turned to us giving each of us disappointed looks
"What are you doing?" I asked out of breath
"Go back to camp it isn't safe" Bellamy told us.
"You lied to everyone" Octavia said "You lied it me" she added with disappointment
"You just want whatever's in the pod" I said stepping in front of Octavia.
Bellamy shook his head and shoved me "Just go home!" he shouted I started at him with hurt eyes.
"You always want to play the big brother huh?" Octavia asked "Well guess what jokes on me, you're just a selfish dick" she said in anger.
"I did this for you, to protect you" he raised his voice at her. "If the ark finds out we're alive they'll come down, and when they do" he paused "I'm dead" he finished
I furrowed my brows in confusion and looked at Octavia her eyes threatening to spill with tears.
"What did you do?" I asked Octavia clearly had the same thing on her mind but couldn't get it out.
He went silent clearly debating on telling the truth or not "I shot him" He finally said and "I shot Jaha"
"What.." Octavia whispered in disbelief and I gave her a sympathetic look and grabbed her hand.
"I fount out they were sending you to earth, I couldn't let you go alone" He explained "Someone came to me with a deal, do this kill him and they'd get me on the dropship"
Octavia's grip on my hand tightened as she shook her head in disbelief.
"And I did it" he finished
"You killed the chancellor?" Octavia questioned
"He floated our mother, he locked you up" He said trying to justify his actions "He deserved it"
"I didn't ask you to do that" Octavia told him
"You're right" Bellamy admitted "I made the choice. This is on me" he nodded "Whatever they sent down, I'll take care of it"
"I didn't ask for any of this" Octavia added and slowly backed up pulling me with her.
Me and Bellamy shared one last look and then me and octavia ran back the way we came.
