My Everything (Scarlett Johansson)

117.

My head hurts just a tiny bit but my throat feels a lot better and my stomach isn't twisting and turning anymore. I turn my body so Rose slides off me onto the bed and prop myself up on my elbow. rose still won't let go of me and I really wouldn't mind if I didn't have to pee.

"Rosie can I go to the bathroom and I'll come right back?" I ask the small child

"No, I'll come with you" she says

"You can't go with her, sweetie. Remember, everyone needs privacy in the bathrooms" scarlett explains

"But, what if you need help again. I want to be there to help you" she cries and my heart feels very warm but it aches at the small girls gesture. She cares so much about me.

"Well, I feel okay right now. And I think it's because mommy was able to put that needle in me. Right? Did you help her with that?" I ask

"I did. She said it wasn't the kind that hurt you, and you needed it. So I let her do it and then you turned to normal color again. But I got scared when you didn't wake up but mommy said your were just tired." She explains and I look over to Scarlett who's listening to her daughter while stroking her hair. I'm sure she had a conversation with Rose while I was asleep about everything but I don't mind answering any questions Rose has.

"That's right. Thank you for helping mommy with that. I feel a lot better now. So can I use the bathroom and when I get back I'll answer any other questions you have about it" I say and she nods letting go Of my neck and letting me go to the bathroom. I do my business quickly and wash my hands before returning to bed.

"Are you going to die" rose blurts out as soon as I sit down. I look at Scarlett who looks a little shocked that she asked that but tries to hide it so Rose doesn't feel judged.

"Not for a very long time flower" I say and hold her hand. I stroke her hand a little but she still looks confused and like she wants to ask more, so I wait.

"Emma's dad had a machine like that. I saw it once when I was over here house" Rose starts and glances at Scarlett. Scarlett holds her other hand encouraging her to get her feelings out and when scar smiles at her, rose faces me again. "Emma's dad died. Emma said he was sick and the machine made him sicker. I don't want you to die Mama!" She says and her small innocent eyes start to water. Before I see a tear drop I gently pull her close to me and hug her tight.

"I'm not going to die sweetie. The stuff mommy injected with me is helping my heart beat normal. And when it beats normal, it makes my body and brain work normal. So that I can play with you, and cook and eat my vegetables so I can stay big and strong and alive." I try to explain to her. Although I feel like I'm confusing myself she tilts her head at me and nods.

"Do you have what Emma's dad has?" She asks me

"I'm not sure what Emma's dad had but I do know that what I'm doing right now seems to be helping me. I feel better in my body and my brain" I say tapping my head. Rose nods her head yes but I can tell she's still processing what I'm saying. And that's okay she can take as long as she needs and ask as many questions as she needs. I'm glad she walked in when she did because now I don't have to hide it from her.

After some cuddles and a movie I get out bed because we have to leave for the airport soon. As I'm packing up a couple things laying around, Scarlett tries to get up, but I give her my best 'don't you dare' look and it works. I know we have to tell Rose about Scarlett being pregnant but it's still really early. I'm also afraid that if we tell Rose she may blurt it out to someone else and we don't want anyone to know until she hits at least 3 months. I would've obviously told Lizzie, since Scarlett told Kate yesterday, but I plan on avoiding her still so I don't have to worry about that right now. Regardless, we're going to have to tell Rose soon, but I think she's old enough to know how to keep a secret. She is going to be 9 at the end of the month!