Judas Kiss

Chapter 43.

Jax

I stared at Ari as she slept peacefully in bed. I had been up for an hour or two, contemplating the decision that Romeo and Luis laid out before me. I thought that I'd have more clarity now that I'd made peace with Arielle, but sending her away felt like a piece of my soul dying.

I hadn't shared my plans with anyone, and only planned to have a meeting with the club once Romeo gave me the green light. I had no doubt in my mind that everyone would want answers as to what happened, and I would have everything ready for them in due time.

Tara had been blowing up my phone since last night, but I'd let every call go straight to voicemail. I didn't want to see anyone for now, because I feared that I'd break down over what was bound to happen.

Romeo assured me that things wouldn't be messy and that it would be quick. But I couldn't stomach the thought of what she'd go through in Galindo's care. They told me little of how far his obsession with her went, but any man willing to kill her husband and trade her for the biggest arms and drug deal that he'd ever seen, couldn't be right in the head.

I've made peace with the fact that Arielle would never forgive me, and I've been trying to make peace with the fact that I'd most likely never see her again. I had no idea how I'd explain her absence to Abel. He loved her and in his eyes, she was his mother. Ripping them apart has to be the hardest thing I'd ever have to do.

But on one hand, if I didn't do this, the CIA would crush everyone. I didn't want my son to end up in the system if my whole family went under for Clay's stupid mistake.

I hated him so much. He had no idea about the position he'd put me in. The toll this sacrifice will have on my son will create irreversible damage. But I held strong in knowing that we'd be free of the cartel and the CIA.

"You're still here?" I looked up from my coffee to see Arielle looking at me. She was clearly suffering the effects of all the alcohol last night, and I handed her some coffee and two aspirins. She said thank you before taking the pills and washing them down with coffee.

"Got any plans for today?" I asked, trying to keep our conversation light.

She shrugged her shoulders, "Maybe take Abel to Fun Town? He's been begging me to go, and I know things have been hard for him since the park."

"Good, I'm sure he'll like that." I continued to drink my coffee in silence as I watched Arielle maneuver around the house. Her hair sat in a bun on top of her head and bounced around as she fixed breakfast for Abel.

I eventually took over when I noticed her yawning, and she disappeared into the bathroom to go shower. I hadn't realized I'd been holding back tears until I heard the water running. I tried to hide my defeat from Abel, but I knew he noticed. 

"Are you okay Daddy?" he asked as I handed him his breakfast.

I nodded my head and gave him a small smile. "Yeah, all good buddy."

"Then why are you crying?" he asked curiously.

I stared at him for a moment and contemplated telling him a vague version of the truth. I sat down across from him and kept my voice low, "I'm sad because Mommy is going away soon."

"NO!" he shouted, and I panicked thinking that Ari heard his outburst.

"Calm down buddy, you don't want mommy to hear you."

"I don't want her to go! She has to stay here!" He was clearly stressed out about the thought of her leaving, and I instantly regretted saying anything to him.

"Mommy has to go," I emphasized, "but we have to be strong for her, okay?" Abel looked sad and took his hands away from his food. "Can I go with her?" The question broke my heart as Abel looked at me with hopeful eyes.

"No buddy, you can't. Mommy has to go alone, but she needs to see that you'll be strong while she's gone. Can you do that buddy?" Abel looked at me and then slowly nodded his head. I let out a shaky breath before kissing his forehead.

Ari emerged only a few minutes later, dressed and ready to go, completely unaware of the conversation that took place in her absence. She showered Abel with kisses and adoration, which he received with open arms.

Abel was a child so it was hard for him to hide his emotions, and he clung to Ari as a result. He'd been acting this way since Tara's kidnapping, so Ari was not as alarmed as she would have been otherwise.

I walked behind them outside as Unser pulled into the driveway. Abel didn't run up to Unser like he usually did, which caused Unser to give Ari a look. Ari shrugged her shoulders as Abel buried his face into the crook of her neck.

She handed Abel off to Unser along with his bag and then turned to look at me when they walked away. "I don't know what happened, I thought he was getting better. It's like we're back at zero." Ari shook her head, completely unsettled by Abel's behavior.

"Ari, he's a kid who's seeking his mother. I don't think there is much to look into beyond that." Ari made a face at me, completely unconvinced. "Jax I think I know when something is bothering my son. Something is scaring him. Did he say anything to you this morning at breakfast?"

I shook my head, "No, nothing I could think of." Ari became frustrated by my response, but before she could argue any further, I saw a silver SUV driving down the road. I instinctively stepped in front of Arielle, confused about why Romeo was coming to do this now.

"Jax, what's going on? Who is that?" Arielle asked, panic clear in her voice.

I was too stunned to speak as Romeo and Luis stepped out of the SUV with two other men at their sides. I walked over to Romeo and left Arielle behind me, standing alone. Unser sat in his truck with Abel and I saw the alarm on his face as he watched the interaction.

"Romeo, what the hell? I said we'd do this later."

Romeo shrugged, "Sorry Jax, but once Galindo found out about Arielle, he wanted to call the shots. We have to take her now if you want this deal to stand."

I stood there defeated, not daring to turn my back as the other two men approached Arielle. There was questioning and arguing on her end until she was flat-out screaming when they grabbed her. Some of the neighbors stepped outside to see what all the commotion was about, and they stood in shock as Arielle was handcuffed and dragged into the car.

I tried my best to avoid looking at her face, but her pleas for help were too hard to ignore. There was nothing but pure fear on her face as she tried to set herself free and run to me.

My mother and Tara had come separately on the cusp end of the ordeal, only to see Arielle thrown into the SUV and drive off. Tara and my mom ran over to me, both demanding to know what was happening and why she was being taken.

I struggled with what to say and found myself breaking down on my lawn. Everyone was silent as I wailed loudly with my head in my hands.

From the distance, I could hear Abel's cries as he banged on the windows of Unser's truck. His reaction solidified that what I had done was real, and there was no going back. 

There was no amount of therapy that would fix this. There was no amount of apologies that would ever make this okay. I will die with this guilt on my shoulders, and if she dies, I will die with her blood on my hands.