Judas Kiss

Chapter 34.

Arielle

The morning that Tara and Jax left for Oregon, I had terrible nausea. At first, I thought that it was because Abel was leaving with them. I was so attached to him that not being near him felt like a piece of my heart was roaming outside of my body.

I did my best to suppress it and distract myself, but it never went away; it just got worse throughout the day. I could hardly hold down any food, and I was tempted to hitch a ride to Oregon because I couldn't sit with my decision of letting him go.

I knew that this was the right thing to do for Abel, but it hurt worse than separating myself from him after the incident with Donna. I didn't have any more separations in me, and I vowed to myself that this would be the last.

Despite my worry, I tried my best to get some errands done, hoping that they'd distract me long enough to keep my day going. I cleaned the house from top to bottom and I also made a list for groceries.

I thought about calling for a cab since I wouldn't be able to hold everything in my hands. But it was hard getting a cab during the afternoon in Charming. The town may have been small, but small didn't mean slow.

I phoned the clubhouse, hoping that someone would pick up the phone. To my surprise, Opie answered it and I fumbled with my words. I tended to avoid Opie now because of what happened to Donna. Even though Opie had still been able to have kindness toward me after the incident.

"Hey Ari, what's up?"

"Uh, is there someone there who can take me to the store? I need to pick up a few things." I didn't want to ask him because it just felt wrong asking him for any favors.

"You know I can take you," he offered, but I found myself shaking my head.

"No, you don't have to worry yourself with that. I'll take whoever's available," I insisted. Opie agreed on the other line and I thought that would be the end of it, but then I later heard the sound of a truck in my driveway. I silently prayed that it wasn't Opie, but the sound was so distinct, I knew that sound all too well.

The knock on my door solidified that it was him, and he stared back at me smiling. "Everyone was busy so I decided to take you myself." A part of me wondered about the truth in his words. I just couldn't say that I truly believed him. The guys always jumped at the chance to make the prospects do the boring stuff. Driving me to the grocery store was classified as boring, so I should have gotten a prospect.

"Thank you," I said with a forced smile. "I'll go grab my bag," I disappeared into my bedroom and took the time to kick myself in the face. Either a ride from Opie would be painfully quiet, or he'd find a way to bring up Donna. I didn't know what conversation would hurt worse.

However, as soon as I got back into the living room Opie's back was turned to me. He was on the phone and from his tone it was a very serious call. Maybe, I wouldn't be getting a ride after all. But before I could mentally celebrate, Opie turned to me with an alarmed expression.

I didn't know what to make of it at first, and just stared back at him dumbfounded. "Ari we gotta go," he ended the call and started to make his way towards the door. I walked hurriedly behind him, still in the dark about what could have happened.

"Is everything alright?" I asked trying to keep up with his pace. Opie looked at me over his shoulder but said nothing until I was sitting next to him in the truck. 

"Someone tried to kidnap Tara today, she got hurt. Everyone's at the hospital."

I felt like the air had been sucked out of me, and for a moment all I could do was stare at Opie. He said nothing to me as he did his best to get us to the hospital. I felt like someone had pressed pause on my body as I tried to sit with the news.

I had agreed to Tara taking Abel, I let her go with him willingly. I kept replaying that night over and over in my head, pointing out everything I did wrong. I knew that letting her take him was a mistake, I knew that it didn't make any sense for him to go with her when she was a target. But I let him go with them, essentially putting him in harm's way.

"Ari, no one saw this coming. Please don't blame yourself," Opie spoke softly to me as if he could hear the war going on in my thoughts. But it was of no use, guns had already been drawn.

I could hardly keep myself from jumping out of the moving truck when we got to the entrance of the hospital. I heard Opie shouting behind me, but I was already in full panic mode. I needed to find Abel, I needed to make sure he was okay. But then I spotted Jax who stepped into my path and caught me before I could go any further.

I tried to get out of his arms and shake him off of me, but his grip was tight as he kept repeating something in my ear. "Abel is fine, Ari. He's okay." He kept on repeating this until he was sure that I understood, and only let me go when I stopped writhing in his arms.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" I demanded once he let me go. Jax looked completely broken at my choice of words, and I looked away from him once I saw tears in his eyes.

"I tried but um..." he looked down, "I couldn't bring myself to call you and tell you that." My face softened at his confession, because even though I'd never admit it; If Jax told me that over the phone, it'd be the fastest way to an I told you so, coupled with me losing my absolute mind.

"Oh," I said sheepishly, "Is Tara okay?" Jax nodded his head, but I didn't quite believe him.

"They hurt her hand." My mouth slightly dropped open at the thought of Tara not being able to use her hand. Her hands were basically her career, without them, she couldn't practice. This must be a huge blow to her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," I was being completely sincere because I was sorry. This shouldn't have happened, and I know that this type of violence was exactly what she was running away from.

Jax nodded his head and a tear escaped his eye. He looked so incredibly sad that I found myself slowly opening my arms for him. I hadn't really touched him since the kiss, but he looked like he could use a hug.

Jax stared at my open arms and he gave me a sad attempt at a little smile. He walked into my arms willingly and wrapped his arms around my body. I rubbed his back as he put his face in the crook of my neck, instantly wetting it with his tears.

"I really tried Ari," he confessed without looking at me.

"I know you did Jackson," I didn't know what else to tell him to soothe what he was going through. So, the only thing I could do at that moment was validate him. But what nagged at me was the thought of him trying his "best" again, who gets hurt the next time?