BAU Groupchat :) Criminal Minds x Reader

yay for sex, no for the eyes (12)

PrettyBoiThings: AHHH MY EYES MY EYES MY EYES 🫣

Hotchie: What's going on, Reid?

bbygirl: yeah you're scaring me

HotStuff69: do ya'll hear that moaning from down the hall? somebody's getting busy lmao

PrettyBoiThings: THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING ROSSI AND STRAUSS 😭

Hotchie: ...

Hotchie: excuse me while I go throw up

HotStuff69: I-🤮

JayJay: that is NOT what I wanted to hear coming out of the elevator 🛗

EmCatLover: why are you guys so disgusted? Isn't this what you wanted a few days ago? lol

PrettyBoiThings: WANTING IT TO HAPPEN FROM A DISTANCE AND ACTUALLY SEEING IT FOR YOURSELF ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS EMILY 🙄

JayJay: Rossi's having a better morning than I am, go Rossi 🫠

Hotchie: JJ, please don't

JayJay: at least HE'S getting some action. I haven't had sex in months

HotStuff69: wait you and Will haven't...?

JayJay: nope. He just never wanted to

bbygirl: girl, you deserve WAYYY better. He probably sucks in the sack anyway 😬

JayJay: well, bless Henry's heart, but it's kind of true tho ngl

JayJay: at least he managed to impregnate me with the best little boy 🤗

HotChocolate: Hey guys, someone's having se-oh wait, you guys are already discussing it, or were discussing it anyway

HotChocolate: hey y/n, how's bossman in the sack? 🤔

HotStuff69: He's amazing honestly 😍

Hotchie: 😊

HotChocolate: can I borrow him sometime?

HotStuff69: DEREK NO 😭

Hotchie: what the fuck morgan 🙄

PrettyBoiThings: why would you ask that when you know they're a thing??

HotChocolate: I was kidding, kid

HotChocolate: hey since you're single, Reid, want to test your sexuality out? 😍

PrettyBoiThings: With you?? What

HotChocolate: oh come on, I know you're curious.

JayJay: wait derek, aren't you straight?

HotChocolate: lmao no

bbygirl: you guys didn't know?

bbygirl: he's bisexual lol

EmCatLover: he acts so straight, wtf

HotChocolate: I do, don't I? well that's going to change

HotStuff69: please don't sexually harrass us morgan

HotChocolate: I-

Hotchie: especially towards me

HotChocolate: you guys are no fun 😤

EmCatLover: omg Rossi and Strauss are coming out of the closet 🫣