❃ 𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 ❃

🔹𝕹𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓🔹

"Wei Ying...?" Lan Wangji's voice cane through his spiral of thoughts and Wei Wuxian turned to looked at the man who stood beside him.

Wei Wuxian just gazed at Lan Wangji for a second before turning his head away.

"Had your medicines?" He asked.

Lan Wangji instantly felt the cold tone and reached for Wei Wuxian's hand. Wei Wuxian tried to pull away but Lan Wangji did not let him to.

"I had. Wen Qing said that our baby is growing well." Lan Wangji told.

Lan Wangji felt the way Wei Wuxian hand trembled at the mention of their baby and inched closer towards Wei Wuxian.

May be, the resentful energy were taking their turns on disturbing Wei Wuxian, again.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji called out softly. "Shall I play Clarity for you?"

"It has no effect on me." Wei Wuxian spoke coldly.

"It will help you to calm down."

"You had been playing it for almost months now. Where on me could you see that I have calmed down?" Wei Wuxian sounded irritated, frustrated and annoyed.

Lan Wangji inhaled sharply. Tonight was another of those nights, it seemed. Wei Wuxian all hurt and angry.

"Wei Ying, it could help you calm down for the time being." Lan Wangji insisted.

"I don't remember asking for any kind of therapy to calm down for the time being."

"You did not but I want to help you." Lan Wangji said.

"I don't remember asking for help either." Wei Wuxian said, clenching Chenqing hard.

"What do you want then?" Lan Wangji asked next. He swiped his palm under his cheeks and noticed that his tears were falling.

May be, Wei Wuxian's words were a little too hurtful tonight.

"Relief, forget." Wei Wuxian gritted out. "Is that possible?"

Wei Wuxian still looked far ahead and did not spare a single glance at Lan Wangji.

"Even if I agree, we can't do enough to make you forget all this."

"Do you think I do not know?" Wei Wuxian laughed. "HanGuang-Jun, I know better than you. As long as I am alive, these spirits will haunt me. I am doomed forever."

Lan Wangji reached for Wei Wuxian's face but Wei Wuxian jerked away. It shocked the both of them as Wei Wuxian had never rejected Lan Wangji's touch so out rightly before. The instant Wei Wuxian saw the look on Lan Wangji's face, he regretted it so much because the way Wei Wuxian had flinched – you'd think he was withdrawing from disgust.

He was frustrated and felt betrayed even by his lonely soul.

He had hurt Lan Wangji just because he was hurt!

He should have known that there would be a price for everything he did. Well, he knew. And he know still. He did not regret his actions but it was just that, sometimes, it hurt!

It hurt to be walking alone on a single plank bridge amidst the other!

Well, he wasn't alone. He had Lan Wangji with him but that only made the situation worse. Lan Wangji was in danger just because of him and that made him more furious with himself!

"Wei Ying, there is something that I want to tell you." Lan Wangji said instead taking away his hand.

"What would that be?"

"I-..." Lan Wangji was about to tell the piece of news that he had received from his brother but when he saw the expression of his husband, how he looked at nothing, how he avoided his gaze, Lan WangJi said instead, "Wei Ying, look at me."

Wei Wuxian turned a deaf ear on him.

"Would it hurt if you looked at me?" Lan Wangji asked next, his heart aching.

Wei WuXian's heart broke at Lan Wangji's tone. When they got married, Wei Wuxian promised himself to make Lan Wangji happy every day but now it just seemed like he signed Lan Wangji up to a life of misery with him

At some night, Wei Wuxian had been unable to sleep at the thought of Lan Wangji. He was haunted by the fear that one day, Lan Wangji would leave him because it had become too cumbersome to live with someone like him. And even though Wei Wuxian could get selfish about his love when it came to Lan Wangji, he knew that this was the one thing he could never compromise on: Lan Wangji's happiness.

Wei Wuxian could not into look Lan Wangji's eyes. He would break. He had been trying to keep himself put all these while and he would shatter into pieces when Lan Wangji's worry filled gaze fell on him.

He did not deserve it!

Lan Wangji once again brought up his hands towards Wei Wuxian and touched his face, his thumb making small circles on his cheek. It was comforting yet suffocating!

"Lan Zhan for fucks sake why do you have to be so boring all the time!" Wei Wuxian yelled in ange, pulling away from Lan Wangji's touch.

He did not mean to say those words but he just could not help it!

Wei Wuxian could feel his temper soar and he was not enjoying where this was going. Why do all the wrong words keep leaving his mouth?

Lan Wangji stayed silent and Wei Wuxian had known him enough that without even looking, he could picture how hurt Lan Wangji must look. Lips forming a thin line, eyes downcast, brows slightly furrowed, nostrils slightly flared – tensed in an attempt to keep the tears from flowing.

But little did he know, that tears were already flowing down Lan Wangji's cheek.

He knew it was not Lan Wangji's fault. He was being unfair and he knew he was going to regret it.

Wei Wuxian was exasperated. He was doing everything wrong here but he cannot seem to help it. These frustrations were building up one by one and if Lan Wangji stayed here any longer, he was afraid he might verbally assault him.

Wei Wuxian saw Lan Wangji retreat a step back, clearly putting a distance between them, and he hated it very much. He cursed himself for bringing this upon himself.

He clenched Chenqing hard and his knuckles ached. And oh, he loved the pain. He loved the pain that he was giving himself.

It made him feel much more better. He deserved nothing but pain! For he had brought pain upon everyone who cared for him. Who loved him!

He had brought pain upon Shijie for all that care she had given him. He had brought pain upon the Jiang sect for raising him. He had brought pain upon Lan sect for giving him the most precious gift ever: Lan Zhan. He had brought pain upon Lan Wangji for loving him!

He had brought pain upon everything that he laid his eyes on. Everything that he touched!

He had saved the Wen refugees but had ruined his own families' lives!

He was about to turn around and apologize for his words when their gazes met. Wei Wuxian halted on his words as he saw the tearstained face of Lan Wangji's. His breath hitched and before he could say something, Lan Wangji turned around and walked off.

Not on his usual pace but he almost ran off, to be accurate.