Shatter Me (LokixReader)

Chapter 20

When he notices me, he looks up and tilts his head, biting his lip when he sees me wearing one of his shirts, again. "You little thief." He chuckles and places his book aside, beconing me closer.

I slowly walk over to him as he gets up, towering above me. He looks me up and down and then sighs, his magic enveloping me. "No!" I squeal, gripping the shirt tightly, but when I look down I notice that he only magicked me into a pair of my own sweatpants, the shirt being where it was before.

"As much as I appreciate the view, If you keep running around in only my shirt, I can't guarantee for your safety." He smirks down at me. "I wouldn't mind spending the whole day in bed with you, but I believe we should prepare for tomorrow." He runs his hands down my sides.

"I'll go and grab some breakfast." I tell him and he nods approvingly. I close the door behind me and turn around, a wide smile plastered onto my lips. My smile falters when Steve spots me. "Y/n, I want you in the training area in thirty minutes."

He doesn't question me walking out of Loki's room with a shirt that could be twice my size. "Aye, sir." I grumble and trot into my own quarters, changing into my training clothes and march into the kitchen, pour myself a coffe and snatch an apple from the fruit basket.

On my way to the training area, I fiddle with the hem of my training suit, liking the way it feels against my skin. It's smooth, but feels strong. "I'm not sparring with you again." I tell Steve when I see the lonely mat in the middle of the room. There's no training dummy or punching bag like normal.

Steve crosses his arms and chuckles, shaking his head. "You wouldn't stand a chance." I scoff, knowing he is right. His enhanced genes allow him to beat me within seconds. "I don't want you to fight me." He tells me. "I want you to shape shift." I instantly turn around and dash for the door, but Steve is faster, blocking my way.

"You can't run from your powers forever, Y/n. You have to learn to control them." He pleads. "Don't you remember what happened last time?" "Don't remember me." I groan. He is talking about my first four months with the avengers. I was younger. And I freshly came out of that... relationship with Aiden. I was scared of everything.

My very strong emotions sometimes triggered my ability but I could never control it. It was dangerous. For me and for others. It still happens from time to time but I mastered the skill to control my emotions and fight back the tingling sensation that warns me shortly before my body changes shape.

Or attempts to do so. I never fully changed shape. I always managed fight it, but the built up energy bursting free always caused destruction around me when I wasn't able to fully contain my ability.

"Just try." Steve encourages me. "If something bad happens, I'm right here." I shake my head. "Last time, we needed Bucky, Tony and Thor plus that sedative from Bruce to keep me from accidentallly destroying the training area, remember?" I bite my lip and shake my head. "I don't want to hurt you in case something happens."

He sighs and leans against the door. "I won't pressure you. I'll give you the time you need. Just try. I won't rush you." He promises. "And the rest is already informed. They'll be here in seconds if anything goes wrong." "Fine." I surrender to his convincing and walk over to the mat, taking in a deep breath.

"You sure?" I ask one last time, hoping he'd change his mind in the last second, but of course he doesn't. "Go on." He smiles and sits down on the other end of the mat, making himself comfortable as I step on the mat and try to relax.

Don't hurt Steve. I repeat over and over in my head. Don't hurt him! Stay calm! I try to loosen up and slowly relax, before searching for the beast inside of me. It's there. Resting. Waiting. It roars awake as I find it, wanting to break free. It's stronger than I remember and I open my eyes to look at Steve.

"It's too strong." I whisper. "I'll loose control." "Let it free." He tells me. "It'll only get stronger if you always force it back inside." I feel my body starting to tingle and I whince when my back starts aching as my body attempts to change shape. I try to contain it. I try to channel it, but it only gets worse.

"It hurts." I inform Steve through gritted teeth, fear and pain increasing drastically. "I can't stop it!" My eyes widen in horror when I realise that I'm loosing control again. The air around me starts to heat up at the energy my body is emmitting while fighting against me pushing the beast back inside. The few things that are in the room start flying around knocking into each other or the wall.

"Steve, get out of here!" I yell in horror, pain stabbing through my back, making black spots appear in my field of vision. "I won't." Steve tells me calmly. "You won't hurt me. Control it." "I can't!" Don't hurt him. Just don't hurt him. I repeat in my head again as the dark, scary energy threatens to overtake power.

My ears start ringing and it takes me a second to realize that I must have screamed in agony. I hear muffled voices, then two hands guide me on my way down as my knees give way. I end up kneeling on the floor as I get pulled against someone's chest. Two cool hands connect with my temples. "Breathe." A voice that I immediately identify as Loki's, demands.

"Breathe!" Greedily I fill my lungs with oxygen. I didn't even notice the lack of air in my lungs. "You're doing it wrong." He informs me as I whimper again when the stabbing in my back intensifies again, the beast starting to break through. It gets harder and harder to contain it. It hurts so much.

"Don't try to contain or channel it." Loki tells me. "Let it free. Let it consume you. Don't fight it." I manage to shake my head and feel a hand tangling in my hair, softly playing with it. "It hurts." I reply and in response, he only holds me tighter. "I know. But it will feel better when you let it out. Don't be afraid. I'm here."

I take a deep, shaky breath before I hold onto him tightly, and then, I let go.