Shatter Me (LokixReader)

Chapter 17

He doesn't answer me but continues to stare into my very soul. His eyes are cold as ice and it feels as if the temperature in my living room drops drastically. When the green fades from his eyes, I do the worst thing I could possibly do in this situation: I take a step back. Immediately his eyes narrow and he follows my movement, slowly backing me up against the wall. "Now, don't you want to jump at me too?"

"Loki, stop." I whisper. I cannot stop the fear that slowly but steadily builds and makes my heart race against my chest. He opens his arms mockingly and tilts his head to the side. I know I shouldn't show how much his strange behaviour scares me, but I just cannot help it. The way Loki slowly stalks closer makes me feel like his prey. "Loki, stop." I curse my voice for sounding so shaky.

Something dark surrounds his mind when I try to reach it, to look what he feels. There's not much Loki. Just something dark. Something dangerous. A certain joy surrounds him. He delights in my fear and is curious to see how far he can push it this time. A quiet resistance to what is happening stirs in Loki's mind, but it is not strong enough to prevail.

"Now, why would I?" He chuckles darkly and takes another step towards me. My heart drops when my back hits the wall. "Are you scared, mortal?" He asks, clearly relishing in my fear. "No." I lie and try to sound confident. "You won't hurt me. You promised." I try to remember him but all he does is closing the distance between us and locking eyes with me. "Are you sure about that?"

I gulp and nod. "You wouldn't." He smirks and bends down to my ear. "Lets find out." I get a feeling of déjà-vu when his hand comes up to slowly caress my cheek. "Loki." I whisper. "This isn't you, please." "Oh, but darling, this is exactly who I am." He chuckles and his hand slowly wanders down. I close my eyes and pray that nothing bad will happen.

Memories flash before my eyes. I see that murderous grin on his face again, feel his long fingers wrap around my neck, slowly squeezing my windpipe with his inhuman strength, taking away my breath. I remember the panic, the feeling of pure panic and desperation. I don't want that to happen again. He promised me he would never do it again. He promised. He swore to me. I don't know if I could forgive him a second time.

When his long fingers come in contact with the delicate skin of my throat, I let out a soft whimper and suddenly he stops. I don't dare to move but keep my eyes shut. I stop breathing until I hear him whisper my name. "Y/n." I open my eyes and the first thing I see is the green colour of his eyes. "What have I done?!" He whispers to himself before slowly reaching his hand out to me.

"Don't touch me!" I panick and flinch away from his hand. He quickly retreats it and starts backing away. Absolutely horrified he stares at me with wide eyes. His face shows deep regret and desperation. "I'm sorry." He whispers again. "I'm so sorry." And then, he is gone.

I bury my face in my hands and sink down to the floor, hugging my knees to my chest and letting the tears flow. I know this wasn't Loki, but I cannot help the fear that causes me to look at him with different eyes. He is dangerous. At least a part of him. Is that part strong enough to make him kill me? Would he be able to take my life?

***
On the other side of the door, Loki rests his forehead against the material of her door, hating himself for doing it again. He hears her silently crying. Her muffled sobs hurt his very soul as he rests his whole body against her door, wishing he could undo the damage he just inflicted.

A green light embraces him and away he is. The cuffs on his wrists activate and lock together before starting to send electric shockwaves through his body as his feet touch the hot sand of the Sahara desert. He throws his head back and roars to the sky. His face is contorted in pain. Mentally and physically.

With the force only a god can conjure, he rips the cuffs apart and uses his magic to keep the electric shocks on one spot. He lets it all out, falling to his knees as the electric shocks continue to fry his wrists, but he welcomes the pain they bring. It distracts him from the mental pain, at least until it gets too much as well.