The empire of Yan Shun(赝舜) seemingly shines as a gem next to all others. This empire lies along a great river, Long Yanlei(龙眼泪) which is said to hold the remnants of a great dragon blessing the people with great spirit. While all people hold spirit...
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True to her word, Huixin spent the next few days studying rather than going out. She couldn't let any mistakes happen. She really did want to spend each hour studying, but it was so hard to focus when everything else was calling louder for her. It was slow work but she stayed strong and studied. For those few days before the meeting, she didn't go anywhere other than the study room and her bedroom. After some deep focused studying, she was finally gaining more confidence for this next meeting.
Deciding she had done enough reading for that day, she decided to take a small walk through the residence for a quick break. Avoiding popular paths, she walked alone, mindlessly wandering and letting her feet lead her. She couldn't stop her mind from wondering what her guard must be doing. After all, she had been inside for a good few days. Perhaps Wanglei attended training or went for patrol duties or maybe he was with Wei Popo. Maybe he was bored, Huixin thought. She would just come up with a more adventurous tour for their next market visit.
Planning her future tours, she found herself near a garden. Her feet had led her to her favorite spot. The garden was small and no one ever visited it. It lay atop a small pond filled with small fish and greenery. A heightened stone path outlined the water edge and cut it in half. Two small willow trees hugged the side of the stone path and the residence walls. There were other bushes and plants but Huixin didn't care for their names. She moved silently to her favorite stone under a willow and sat watching the fish swim. The whole atmosphere was enchanting and she wished time could just stop and let her fully experience this moment.
It wasn't until she was sitting by the pond that she could feel her body's exhaustion. Her mind and body were so tired but she couldn't rest yet. She sighed, laughing at herself. She was tired and she hadn't even attended the meeting yet.
She could feel her mind starting to spiral, what if she failed, what if she said the wrong thing, what if she missed something in her studies or forgot something important.
Her body began to shrink into itself and her lungs felt like they had been stabbed. Her mind wouldn't stop thinking and reeling, her breath wouldn't stay with her long enough to be a breath, her eyes couldn't stay open as they began to water.
She hated it, nothing had happened to her yet here she was crying over something others did with ease. She couldn't disappoint her father, her family had high hopes for her. What if she failed again? Her sisters seemed to succeed in all they touched and here she was, unable to hold a sword or an agreement. Her sister's words came back to her, how can she sit here crying.
Perhaps she was waiting for someone to find her.
Her mind wouldn't stop spiraling into darkness, but in the back she could hear a small voice begging for someone to come. The thought made her laugh at herself. What she really wanted was for the world to stop for just one moment. Just one moment where she could catch her breath fully. To finally take a breath and feel it fill her lungs fully.
