Episode 08 - Oregon Trail

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Location: Oregon Trail

The chapter begins with Y/n and Sonia leading a trail through the plains in the classic and very historical video game, Oregon Trail as the cart stops and Hezikiah comes out of the cart, calling to the blue female hedgehog and cool kid.

Hezikiah: Hey, blue devil and youngster! You mind stopping this death train for a second? Lil Boone's got the dysentery and needs to go to the bathroom!

Y/n: He has a point, Sonia. It's just only a short pitstop. It won't be too long.

Sonia: No way, we're making good time. And stick a cork in that brat, I don't want him shitting all over the wagon!

Y/n: I understand, Sonia. But there are no rest stops here in this timeline and we're in the middle of the desert. Their kid won't survive if he doesn't use the bathroom out here in the desert.

Eliza comes out from the other side of the cart.

Eliza: I told ya we should have picked the banker, but the youngster over there is better than the blue devil herself.

Hezikiah: The banker? Seriously, Eliza?! What's a banker gonna do to an Ox? Give it better interest rates? Plus, he was from Boston! They call Soda "Pop".

Eliza: Yeah, and a lot of help you were when I got sick!

Hezikiah: Well, maybe if Magellan up there didn't spend every cent we had on 60 wagon tons, we could have got ourselves a new one!

Y/n and Sonia, bored waiting, takes out a map to pass the time to know where they should need to go to next on their job that Tailsko suggested to do this kind of job.

Eliza: I tell you what I like a new one of!

Hezikiah: Oh, you- you sayin' you want a new one of me-?!

Hezikiah and Eliza fight inside the cart while Y/n and Sonia keep looking at the map. The fight goes on for 5 seconds until a text box comes up saying:

HEZIKIAH STRIKES ELIZA.

ELIZA HAS A BROKEN ARM.

Hezikiah comes out of the cart and pulls out a shotgun to prove a point.

Hezikiah: Hey watch it now, text box. I've got 5 bullets left! You better get that story straight!

Text box refreshes, not wanting to get shot by Hezikiah's shotgun and quickly changes to the storyline of what really happened to Eliza.

ELIZA IS SO CLUMSY.

SHE FELL DOWN SOME STAIRS.

Hezikiah: That's more like it.

Sonia: (finally snapping) Would you dumb brutes shut up back there?! We're trying to focus!

Y/n: Yeah, also we heard what you said to the text box and try to threaten it with your shotgun. You're gonna be arrested for attempted murder and assault.

Text Box: HE'S RIGHT YOU KNOW. PLUS, HE'S GOT A BULLET PROOF VEST ON AND HE CAN LITERALLY KILL YOU WITH A SINGLE ATTACK.

Hezikiah: Dag Nabit! I should've listened to Eliza about choosing the Banker instead of you two.

They both go back to their map until they both found the location that they needed to go.

Sonia: Jackpot! We'll be right back.

Y/n: Yeah, this shouldn't be too long. But don't do anything stupid while we're gone.

They both left the cart behind and goes across an Indian realm as he they both meet a pixelated Indian.

Y/n: Alright, Sonia. This is Chief Wahoo. Now let's ask him for some help so we can get a move on to get to our destination.

Sonia: Alright. Hey, Chief Wahoo. I'm aiding a bunch of assholes across the country and need some help; you have any food or... (gets distracted by what he's holding in his hand) What... Whatcha smokin' there Kim Sotty?

Y/n: Sonia! No! We're not gonna smoke whatever this Indian has, we got a job to so we cannot smoke weed at this time.

Sonia: Aw you're no fun. What if this job is nothing but a wild goose chase and we didn't get paid for the job if we take them to where they need to go.

Y/n: That won't happen if those guys are wanted criminals. I heard they can give you reward money if you get them dead or alive.

Text Box: ACTUALLY, THOSE GUYS THAT YOU TWO WERE HELPING OUT ARE ACTUALLY WANTED CRIMINALS AND THEY'RE TRYING TO MOVE OUT OF THE TOWN THEY ROBBED AND BURNED DOWN. THE SHERIFF IS HOLDING A $25,000 REWARDS IF YOU GUYS SHOULD LEAVE THEM IN THE WAGON FOR AWHILE SINCE THEY ARE GONNA DIE FOR AT LEAST A COUPLE OF HOURS. YOU GUYS ARE NOT GONNA GET PAID IF YOU DON'T LEAVE THEM THERE AND SMOKE WHATEVER THAT INDIAN HAS.

Y/n, Sonia and the Indian looked at each other for a moment and decided to just leave them there and get high.

Timeskip: 6 and a Half Hours Later

Y/n and Sonia eventually comes back to the cart but they're both high from smoking, not realizing that the criminal family are now dead.

Y/n: Oh, hey guys. Sorry we took so long, me, my girlfriend wagon burner over there we-we were having a really good time with this weed. It's amazing.

Sonia: Yeah, we ended up watching these buffalo do it for like six hours! Fucking crazy!

Text Box: HEZIKIAH, ELIZA AND LIL' BOONE HAVE DIED. Y/N AND SONIA EARNED $25,000 AS IT WILL BE SENT TO Y/N'S BANK ACCOUNT THROUGH HIS SMARTPHONE. I'M GLAD THAT YOU TWO DECIDED TO LEAVE THEM TO DIE AND SMOKE THAT DOPE. YOU BOTH DESERVED IT.

Y/n: Yeah! That's what I'm talking about.

Sonia: Yeah. More wagon tons for me! Hey, Tonto! Let's watch Season 4 of The Wire together!

Y/n: Oh yeah! I love the Wire! Good choice to pick Season 4, Sonia!

END OF EPISODE 08

TO BE CONTINUED IN EPISODE 09

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