Chapter Thirty

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Picture: The Czar and his Children in Livadia

JUNE 1913
Currently, I was sitting at the corner of the wheel chair. We were having a ball for Tatiana and Maria. I really did suspect something small but the ball room was enormous full of people. I Guess it was smaller than other palaces. I sort of lost Maria after our little cousin from England, Louis Mountbatten, asked her to dance. It was painfully obvious he had a crush on her. The others teased her about it a lot. She would get very flustered and would deny everything they would say. But when I heard he was our FIRST COUSIN, I immediately vomited and was put to bed rest by Dr. Botkin. That wasn't true, but i did vomit.

Alexei had an episode so he got put to a mud bath. No one knew about this but me, Maria, Cian and Kitty. We were at the wrong place at the wrong time to see it. Later Mama told Tanechka and they went on a walk together afterwards. But anyways, there were officer and guards from all over making sure everyone  was safe. Some of our younger cousins were dancing with my sisters.

I always come to the decision that I'm bored. I'm used to just being able to walk around and run outside to play. I try not to find about my real grandmother, Heinrich and Margo. Every time I do I start to cry, it's too painful for me. I had small pieces of food on my lap that I was hiding from my dear Mama. She had a close eye on what we eat so we wouldn't get 'fat'. I wasn't really eating them, more like playing with the tiny pieces of bread so I would actually die of boredom.

Anastasia would occasionally come by and take a few pieces from me, actually she would steal. I looked around to see if perhaps there was anyone that could put me out of my misery. While being in the corner of the room, I saw an odd looking girl. She stood on the side of the dance floor, not participating. She didn't look like a lady waiting but she also didn't look like a servant. She had her brown hair up and her green eyes sparkled. She noticed my staring and walked over to me. "Good Afternoon Grand Duchess Astrid Nikolaevna." She stated. I felt nearly as uncomfortable I did when Cian actually looked at me. Her eyes nearly pierced through my skull but cians always did. "Good evening, uh-"

"Natasha, Viscountess Natasha." She stated. "Oh! Nice to meet you!" I exclaimed, we stood in silence until she spoke to me again. "It looks like your sister is looking for you." I turned my head to see Tatiana in her bright pink dress (that Olga used for her birthday) looking concerned at me. Viscountess Natasha walked away while Tatiana came up to me. "Astrid? Are you feeling alright?" I looked at her confused. "Yes, why are you asking? I was talking to Viscountess Natasha." She looked at me confused. "Astrid, there was no one there. You weren't speaking to anyone."

"No, no, no, no! You are wrong. She was just here..." I trailed off, I looked for her but she was nowhere to be seen. She couldn't have walked that far. I felt like i was going insane. "I'll go get Dr. Botkin." Tanya offered.  "No, I- I don't want to ruin the night. Mama is already stressed about Alexei and is getting terrible migraines. She doesn't need more pressure on her. Don't tell anyone about this, Not Olishka, not Marie, Not Nastya."

Tatiana nodded her head, not saying anything. I leaned back into my wheelchair in exhaustion, because I was exhausted. I used my hand to move my baby hairs out of my face and kept my eyes on my feet. I slowly turned my head up to look at Tatiana. "Your wig is a little crooked, move it to the right." I said, she quickly did and it looked like it was natural again. "It must've got crooked from all the dancing, I wish we could dance together." She frowned.

I smiled at her, "we could if none of the soldiers or ladies in waiting weren't watching. Cian would not care." She laughed at my suggestion like it was the most funniest thing in the world. "We can't, you must get better especially after what happened." I only shrugged at her. "It wasn't anything that serious." She gave me a look, probably saying 'are you actually serious?', and then she spoke. "You almost had your eyes roll into the back of you head when you fell!" She yelled.

"Cian walks around like that sometimes, Tati." I replied back. "That's because he's Cian." I rolled my eyes. "And plus, I've been through much worse than my eyes rolling into the back of my head." I mumbled. One of our younger cousins from Germany marched up to Tatiana and took her hand, ordering her to dance with him. She shot me a look of apology and walked off to dance with the little boy. "The fuck. Why is he built like that." Cian muttered. I smiled, he eventually left after telling me how ugly that child was. I had to agree. Now, I was alone again with no company. How did Tatiana not see the woman I spoke to? Maybe she didn't see correctly? I don't know the side effects of typhoid, maybe her vision got worse.

I teared apart the pieces of bread in my lap until they were mere crumbs, which was annoying. As a result of my annoyance, I groaned. I was thinking of the lady, the Viscountess Natasha. She had to be real, she stood right in front of me, clear as day. "Good evening Astrid." A voice made me snap out of my thought train, i saw Malcolm out of all people. "Oh, good evening Malcolm." I greeted. "How are you, lass?" He asked me, voice full of worry and concern. But he seemed intrigued. "Well as I could be stuck in this stupid chair." I replied while watching people dance across the dance floor. I caught Terrence staring at me, he nodded like he was allowing Malcolm to marry me, which nearly made me turn red. His stare remained on me, but he wasn't that scary because he was far away. "Do you want to dance, lass? You wish to dance." A frown knitted onto my face, replacing the red with confusion. "How could we dance without anyone noticing? I mean Terrence and Cian wouldn't care." I asked.

He smiled at me, it was warm, and welcoming. He took the back handles of my wheelchair and wheeled me out of the corner and parked my chair outside, behind one of the many double doors that lead to the fresh outside. He stood in front of my chair and lent out his hand for me to take. I smiled and took it, the crumbs of bread which was once small pieces falling onto the concrete. My feet and legs felt weird because I hadn't walked in a long time. I held desperately onto his arms while my whole body shook due to the lack of upper body strength. I was so weak, that's another reason why I shook like an earth quake. "Malcolm, I can't really stand, my legs are shaking. I think it's better if I just go back into the chair." I mumbled quickly.

He looked at me for a second and paused. "Do you trust me, Aska?" He asked. I thought for a moment, did I really really trust him? I nodded my head in the end, he took me by the waist and picked me up like a child would pick up their favourite toy, effortlessly. I ended up staying on his shoes. "Malcolm, I'm very sorry! Let me just-" he ended up cutting me off. "No lass, stay like this, you're in a very critical and fragile state." He had his arms around my waist and I had mine around his neck. Soon,we began swaying to the muffled sound of Russian music blasting inside. We danced outside in the warm breezy june air.

But as I was dancing I noticed something, a boy staring at us, with golden eyes. And instantly i knew who it was. Terrence Nicolas Edward.

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