Woke Up In A New Decade

Chapter Twenty Three

PICTURE: Tsar Nicholas II with his daughters at Livadia Palace, the Grand Duchess Anastasia appears to be face-palming

TW: DRUG USAGE AND MENTIONED.

June 1913

The frustration had gotten to all three of us, Cian looked like he was about to rip the world in half. When we were leaving, Mama insisted we all stay with them. But Grandmother said no, (Cian reckoned she would've told her to piss off and go die in a ditch) and we got ready to go back to her palace. When we did return, we all went straight to bed. Liesel helped me get ready and let me be, Cian and Kiki were ready. I decided to tell them both about the time travel thing, they said they suspected so. And had a feeling too. I was so tired I fell straight asleep after. They did too. When I woke up, it was very early, only Cian was awake and he was drinking water and looking at something. "Cian." I said, he nearly dropped the thing on the floor, he put it away. "I think I'm going to read the diary.." he nodded. I turned on my little lamp, Caoimhe was fast asleep still. I took a deep breath and told Cian what already happened. Then turned to the next diary entry.

Caoimhe woke up, so we told her. What was written in this diary was like a tragic story. The Astrid Nikolaevna before, her life was so terrible. For the few months she had before she was thrown into a coma, she had a lot written. I didn't know what to do, I wanted to comfort her so badly but i was her. A lot of her diary entries were fear of Rasputin coming, and if he did what he did do to her in the visits. I read most of it out loud by the time I turned to the few pages I hadn't, I began reading.

"April 1912.

We made a public appearance today. My beautiful sisters were dressed all the same, in beautiful white gowns, which didn't quite hit the floor which was perfect and big white elegant hats laid on their heads. While I wore a pink dress with no beautiful hat, my dress was not that elegant compared to theirs. I wasn't escorted like they were, I walked near Anna Vyrubova during the parade. I was confused on, why wasn't I dress like them? Why didn't they leave me home like they usually did? It was very rare for me to leave any of their estates, I only was exposed to the public once or twice in my life. But it didn't matter, Papa gave his amazing speech as Czar. It made my heart warm! I was proud to be in the sidelines cheering him on. Then, Papa made something referring to our family in his speech, and his four daughters.

I was confused at this, I looked at Anna, but she looked unfazed by this. Mama kept smiling and so did Olenka. Tatianochka didn't seem happy by this either, maybe it was a mistake? I looked to Cian who had Kiki on his shoulders. He looked at me and shrugged, he didn't know either. He was also looking very high. I turned back to the crowd. I knew Papa skipped me. I could tell by the way my sisters waved and smiled to the crowds of different people. Ukrainians, Russians, Belarusians, Latvians, Lithuanias, Estonians some Finnish, who knows. Anna instructed me not to do so. But how could he forget me so quickly? I stayed close to Cian who just patted my head."

I wiped the tear that rolled down my cheek. She was so alone in so much situations she didn't feel like she was apart of the pairs. I would be lying if I didn't say she had friends. She had three, almost all the diary entries contain Astrid spending time with Maria, Cian and Caoimhe. She never mentioned the big pair in any way unless it was important. From what I could tell from her entries was that she was a melancholic girl with little knowledge on things. Just somehow weed, probably through Cian. That kid got high with any chance he got. Astrid never spoke of the Rasputin situation to anyone, she considered Cian. Her grandmother, Maria Feodorovna, tried her hardest to get Astrid to live with her but the Czar and Czarina just couldn't let her go.

I continues to read her diary. I also told them how the Romanovs were going to die. Cian looked actually happy. "Thank Gods! I hate working for them. Their awful! But you can still save them, I'm just quitting," Cian said. I came to the pages with my scribbles to save the romanovs. I showed them, they nodded, gave suggestions. I wrote how to stop Rasputin but he couldn't be stopped, until he was killed. But I would have to wait a long time for that.

Liesel suddenly barged through the doors so loudly it made me and Caoimhe jump. Cian was unfazed. "Oh my! Astrid! Caoimhe, I assumed you were still sleeping. Hello Cian." She apologised and then greeted. "Why are you so noisy?" I asked, a little annoyed. Liesel chuckled, "You and Caoimhe are quite the heavy sleepers. While Cian is always awake. I once knocked over one of your books, which made Cian drop his book onto the floor, it made such a loud noise some servants rushed in to check what happened but you and Caoimhe were still asleep."

I felt embarrassed about it. Cian had already had a cold bath so me and Caoimhe got our clothes ready to have one. I got out of bed and went first. Caoimhe second.

* * *

After my bath, I put on a navy blue skirt with a blouse tucked into it, I was not fond of the corsets I had to wear but wearing one for nine months made me get used to them. Ella braided my hair. I saw what Caoimhe wore, she wore a pink skirt with a white blouse and white socks. Her hair was in a bun, we went to breakfast. Today we sat on the balcony. Grandmother was sitting already with a newspaper in her hands. "Good Morning Empress." The two said. "Good morning grandmother." I said. And gave her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled at us.

I took a seat next to her, Cian sat next to me and Caoimhe next to him. The servants brought in food, eggs and bacon! I started to eat not paying too much attention to my grandmother staring at me. Cian simply waited and so did Caoimhe. "Have you lost your table manners?" Grandmother asked. I stopped stuffing my face with portions of scrambled eggs.

One of thing I miss about the 80s, was that women have rights. And also probably portion sizes don't really matter. No one cared of my table manners and i could eat as much as I wanted to. I swallowed the food in my mouth. "I'm so sorry grandmama!" I apologised. She nodded at me. Cian began eating and so did Caoimhe, I put some eggs in my mouth. Swallowed and looked at grandmother, she was looking out at the garden. "Why aren't you eating?" I asked.

She turned and looked at me, "I don't have an appetite." She told me. I nodded my head while continuing to eat my breakfast. "We are going to Tsarskoye Selo to visit Astrid's family in Russia." Grandmother said. "Yes Miss Empress." Cian and Caoimhe said. I stayed silent and finished some bacon, I felt the stare of my grandmother and I looked away, "is something wrong?" She asked, I turned to look at her. "No." I said after swallowing bacon. She caught me off guard when she put her hand on mine, her expression changed. "Astrid, if there is something bothering you, you can let me know." I looked into her eyes full of sorrow. I nodded my head slightly. She still held my hands for seconds too long before letting go.