Against All Odds

Chapter 34

STELLA

"Is Colin going to fetch you from the airport?"

The question caught me off guard and I jumped slightly for it. I mean, we had been sitting in silence for the best part of three hours, so the sound of Killian's voice now, over the din of some mellow grunge band's music pouring through the car's sound system, was somewhat jarring.

I gave him a quick glance before returning my gaze to the busy highway I was navigating. It was late evening and we had entered Johannesburg after a long haul across the country, the roads here in a major city far more busy- something I was grateful for since it distracted me from thoughts of Killian beside me.

How we managed an entire eleven hour road trip from one end of the country to the other in one day, I would never know. But we had... and we had been achingly civil.

It was painful.

"Yeah, he'll be meeting me at the drop-off for the rental." I kinda hated how formal we were being towards each other. It was grating on every sensitive nerve of mine- but that's what I had insisted, I supposed... no hard feelings. Easier said than done. I swallowed past the sour taste at the back of my tongue, realising now as I merged onto an intersection that would take us closer to the airport, that in about ten minutes time all my interactions with the man beside me would come to an end.

"What about you?" I managed to sound normal, even if I felt anything but internally. I couldn't decide if it was a good thing that we were about to part ways for good or... or if I wanted to latch onto his ankles and prevent him from ever leaving me.

What a stupid thing a heart was. So irrational.

"I messaged my parents about ten minutes ago, so they'll probably meet me there at the same time as yours."

Great, I thought. Silently, I hoped dad was uncharacteristically on time because if I had to endure seeing and meeting Killian's parents after all this I think I could quite possibly throw up all over Pauline Beckett's fancy shoes. Without missing a beat though, I said with more cheerfulness than I felt, "That's great!"

And we resumed the silence that we had been sitting in for most of the journey. That's how it had been between us the entire day in the tiny, shared space of the car. Intermittent snippets of conversation that provoked no further incentive to continue talking to one another. We spoke to each other only when it was necessary to utter words. Like, "We need to stop for petrol."

"Do you need anything from the shop?"

"Can you stop at the next station for a pee break?"

"What do you want for lunch? Fast food or stale garage pie?"

"Watch out for that fucking goat, Stella!"

He hadn't even kicked up much of a stink when something by INXS jumped onto the stereo because my bluetooth was connected. I didn't apologise for my occasional eighties song that made it onto a playlist, but I did notice my device was disconnected after that.

The next time we spoke was only after parking the car and the final inspection was being conducted by the agent who received the keys. My heavy rucksack was planted at my feet on the pavement outside the busy lot, Killian's luggage beside it as we waited for the sign off.

"You know if there are any damages I'll cover the costs," I told him, recalling what he said to me just a few short days ago at our first meeting within this very airport. It was astounding how much had changed between us in such a short span of time- it felt unnatural and surreal, the realisation seeming to crack and splinter my heart even more. It was an effort to remain resolute with him beside me, waiting in tense silence, as I recalled all the moments that had formed part of our short beach holiday together. I couldn't read his expression, his face so achingly handsome and immoveable- he didn't smile much, and I didn't know if he was as affected as I was by the way things ended between us because he was faultlessly civil. And he looked so damn appealing in a black t-shirt and cargo shorts, with a pair of chucks on his feet and mussed up dark hair, it was a sadistic torment how badly I wanted to lean into him for support.