Against All Odds

Chapter 29

KILLIAN

A tingle of unease ripped through me at the expression on Stella's face, and she seemed to curl into herself. Arms wrapped under her breasts, hugging herself tightly, I was no stranger to the forlorn ache that dimmed the shine of her cerulean eyes.

I didn't entirely understand her reasons for withdrawing so suddenly from me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, slowly, carefully watching her expression, hesitant to broach this vein of conversation. Maybe I already knew where this was going, where this was going to end, and it settled like hard lead in my gut at the thought.

Because truthfully I didn't want it to end, not with Stella, and something told me I had fucked up somehow.

"Us," she whispered.

Silence, heavy and charged, stretched between us. I watched her throat work, the way the column of her neck moved as she fought off the tears glistening in the depths of her beautiful eyes. Inside the venue, the sound of the upbeat music was dimmed, the cheerful voices of the wedding guests muted. But all of that disappeared entirely as my focus encapsulated the woman before me. I ached to take her into my arms, to draw her against my chest, to eradicate the sadness that was radiating from her.

"Stels," I began, my voice a soft rasp, "because of my mother?"

She began to shake her head, her mouth opening then closing and then opening again. Finally, she nodded, looking so miserable I couldn't stand it. My hands lifted on their own accord, fingers settling on the exposed silken flesh of her upper arms, stroking soothingly. "Yes, I mean - no. Partly." She huffed out a tremulous breath. "You can't expect me to be happy with that conversation, Killian. You should never have put it on speaker."

I grimaced inwardly. I hardly expected my mother to react so negatively at the mention of Stella's name, and my intention to take the call on speaker was simple enough- I wanted my hands free to explore the woman who had finally made the decision to become mine. Suddenly, I realised how naive I was, how premature we were to jump back into things as if our problems had just suddenly vanished because we had grown up.

"You were never happy when it came to my mother," I told her, allowing my hands to drop. I settled them in the deep pockets of my trousers, my fingers clenching into fists as I fought off the overwhelming desire to touch her.

A frown marred her brows at that, a spark of anger chasing some of her poignant sadness away. "Killian, when did you ever stand up for me? You didn't today, and you certainly didn't six years ago."

Is that how she saw it? But then she wasn't witness to the private conversations I had with Pauline- conversations where I lobbied for Stella's worth in the only way I knew would appease my parents. But perhaps that wasn't enough- and then it began to hurt like a bitch that Stella wasn't willing to fight for my mother's approval, that she wouldn't fight for us... "That's not true."

"Maybe." She shrugged one shoulder, the anger dissipating from her gaze. "You didn't now, though. And six years ago maybe I was willing to let it slide, but I'm not that girl anymore. Your mother's approval of me is a big thing. I can't be that woman... I can't be that person who is constantly battling a losing war. I'll never be someone that she likes. Can you accept that, Killian?"

Frustration made me run my hand through the side of my hair. "Does it even matter if I do? These issues come up so often between us, what's the damn point? If you expect me to cut off my mother, I won't do it."

She flinched. "That's not what I want at all."

"It sure as shit sounds like it, Stels. I mustn't have a mum too, yeah?"