Better Together

51 | convenience

She scowled at his sleeping face. He was sleeping so damn peacefully while she was a complete wreck. It felt like a storm had raged in and ruined everything inside her. Yet, her stupid stupid heart urged her to place a chaste kiss on his forehead. And she did exactly that.

***

Aadarsh had woken up after ten. His sleep cycle among other things in his life was out of his control. Fortunately, he was alone in the room when he woke up. It gave him the much needed private space and time to nurse the ache in his shoulder, neck and head. His eyelids tingled and itched at spots, reminding him of last night when he had cried.

He had fucking cried! Worse— right into the arms of the woman he was supposed to be away from, both physically and emotionally.

He got off the bed agitated. He had laid bare his emotions before her. He had showed her those parts of himself that he hadn't even shown to Abhi, the person he was closest to. He had shared his deepest scars with her. Also, he had made a fucking idiot out of himself.

How was he ever going to survive this? She'd never leave it alone. She'd try to fix it. She was after all so fond of sorting out others lives.

Still worse, she would start pitying him. She would make him talk about it, admit it and face it. Oh Dear God, she wasn't going to let the night slide into oblivion. He walked through the closet to the bathroom. He should have just driven off somewhere last night instead of coming back to the room.

Yet, he knew if he got to go back to the night and make the choice again, he would do exactly the same, come to the room, come to her. She had needed him yesterday. If he hadn't returned to the room, she would have tormented herself with all those plaguing thoughts all night, hurting herself miserably in the process.

He leaned at the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. He wasn't supposed to think about her. Then why was he doing nothing but just that? Why was it so hard to stop himself now? It had become harder than before.

He closed his eyes momentarily, reminiscing the last night. Her hand gently touching his face as they slept facing each other. But the highlight had to be the hug. She had hugged him like... she knew he needed an anchor.

She had been his anchor last night, preventing him from being carried away by a merciless storm. Somehow, his own pain hadn't felt unbearable last night. He hadn't felt like he was trapped in a dark room, out of reach of humanity.

He had felt safe. He felt lighter. Like he had been through a nightmare but woken up just in time to realize that it was not real.

He blinked, shaking his head to get his thoughts out. He splashed cold water onto his face.

***

A while later, Aadarsh had gotten ready for the day and arrived at dining table. His eyes were continually searching for her. It was strange he wanted to see her and not see her too.

See her to make sure, she was okay, that she didn't have more dumb ways in mind to hurt herself.

Not see her, because the last thing he wanted to see in her eyes for him was pity. Like he was some sort of broken man or a tortured human being. Worse, he didn't want her to think he was weak.

There was no way he could avoid her after last night. Avoiding her would be the most foolish thing to do. She would come back at him hundred times stronger. Every time she came back at him, they somehow became closer.

Like last night.

"Good morning, Chote Saab!"

He turned to the source of the voice. Dai Jaan brought him a cup of steaming milk tea.