A Just Cause.

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

I stood atop a hill, hidden among the trees, watching the gathering at the cemetery below. The gray sky seemed to reflect the somber mood of the occasion as mourners huddled together, saying their final goodbyes to Sergeant Evelyn. Her casket lay before them, a stark reminder of the woman I had once served under, the woman whose life I had deliberately ended. My heart should have been heavy with grief and remorse, but instead, it felt strangely detached, almost numb. I had killed my sergeant, the woman I had once respected and admired, but the truth was, I didn't feel much for her now that she was gone.

As I observed from a distance, I expected to feel remorse, guilt, or even a hint of sadness. But the truth was, I felt none of it. My emotions were cold and detached, like an observer watching a play unfold. I had carefully orchestrated the events that led to Evelyn's demise, painting it as self-defense to avoid the consequences of my actions.

The wind rustled the leaves around me, and for a moment, I thought I heard her voice carrying on the breeze. It was haunting.

I took a deep breath, trying to silence the internal confusion that threatened to surface. This funeral was not for me to grieve but for those who genuinely cared for Evelyn. Yet, even as I acknowledged that fact, I couldn't help but wonder why I felt so detached from the situation.

I look down towards the polished casket, almost being able to see Sarge right through the wood. I knew that Evelyn had her flaws, her dark side, just like I did. But unlike her, I didn't have people mourning my loss, singing praises of my virtues. I had managed to escape the consequences, the burden of my actions hidden beneath a facade of innocence.

A young soldier stepped forward to share his memories of Evelyn, tears glistening in his eyes. His grief was genuine, and I couldn't help but wonder if this was what I had been living for. To be a menace to society. The mourners bowed their heads in prayer, and for a moment, I contemplated joining them. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. My soul felt like a void, an empty abyss devoid of remorse. The guilt that should have consumed me was nonexistent, replaced by the cold realization that I had acted out of self-preservation.

As the service concluded, the mourners approached the casket to pay their final respects. My heart remained untouched as I watched them lay flowers and say their goodbyes. I had once respected Evelyn, admired her strength, and followed her orders without question.

I couldn't forget the night when I made my fateful decision. The cold handle of the blade in my hand, the rage and bitterness that boiled within me, the knowledge that I had to take action to save myself. It wasn't self-defense in the traditional sense, but it was a defense of my own life and sanity.

As the crowd dispersed, I turned to leave, taking one last look at the cemetery. A part of me wanted to feel something, to connect with the emotions of the moment, but it was as if my heart had been locked away, unreachable and untouchable. The truth of what had happened would forever be my secret burden, a weight I would carry alone. And as I disappeared into the distance, I knew that I was forever condemned to be the distant observer, an outsider to the world of emotions and remorse.