Piece by Piece

50. In the Light of Day

Everything was colder in the light of day.

And with the rays of the winter sun came the realization of what happened. With it came the feelings.

Disgust, shame, pain. Relief.

Despite all the negative feelings floating inside her like boats on stormy seas, the panic inside Millie was gone. What had to be done had been done. She'd slept with Freider Grant.

Maybe it was because a part of her refused to compute it, but she couldn't remember much. Her body had gone through the motions while her mind wrestled with her feelings for Davyn. At the end of it, she'd felt cold because Davyn was an inferno no one could match. And still, she'd stayed overnight, fell asleep in Freider's arms. Then, dreams of Davyn murdering them both followed her through the night.

It was morning now, and Davyn could no longer reach her.

Millie blinked and sat up in bed. Freider had left her there for the moment. It was better that way. It would have been much harder to come to terms with everything with him there.

What was done was done. She only wished it was enough. She couldn't even tell how it had been. Not good, not bad. It just was. A means to an end.

She hugged herself and glanced around, trying to distract herself from the emptiness gripping her chest.

The room was large enough. The bed she sat on was dark wood with a dark blue canopy and sheets. It was weird that she had a canopy, but it fit the rest of the room. It was almost tidy except for a few clothes on the floor and the notebooks scattered on the desk. She sat on the edge of the bed and picked a t-shirt up. It was scarlet with Saint Agness written over it. She had no idea that Freider had been to Saint Agness, but then again, it made sense since his brother went there as well.

She pulled the t-shirt over her head, and it fell long enough that it covered all of her. The sequin dress would have to stay on the floor a while longer. She never wanted to wear it again.

With heavy steps, she glanced around at the books lining the shelves on the walls. Dune, some other Scifi series by someone called Asimov, and Lord of the Rings. She didn't recognize much else, but a bunch of them seemed to be philosophy and psychology. She'd never taken Freider for the philosophical type, but, to be fair, she didn't know him that well.

The thought made her nauseous, so she gave up on ransacking his room and stepped out into the hall. A few feet away, she reached the landing, and she could look down into the living room and the entrance hall. There were four more doors on the landing. The house really was huge. The thought was both comforting and shame-inducing. Freider really had the means to take care of her, but it shouldn't be a factor.

She placed her hands over her belly. None of this should be a factor, but she wanted what was best for her child, and that was a family. A full family with a mom and a dad who loved them and would make their life as easy as possible.

Not an unwed teenage mother.

Not a loser.

Not someone poor and without any hope for a better future.

"There you are!"

She jumped and glanced down. Freider stood at the entry to another room, glancing up at her with a grin on his face. It was so strange to see him in sweats and a t-shirt. He looked so much younger.

"I'm sorry, you probably think I'm lazy."

"Not at all. I think you need all the rest you can get. To be honest, I wanted to surprise you with breakfast, but my kitchen is seriously lacking, and all I could offer is..."