𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐃 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐑

~𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓞𝓷𝓮~

TARA

My mom had me at nineteen. My dad worked two jobs to support us, but we did alright. They seemed happy, or so I thought. I was five when she left. She didn't even have the audacity to say goodbye or give me a reason.

I walked through the front door after playing with my cousins all day. I found my dad sitting on the couch with his head in his hands and a bottle of vodka on the center table.

"Daddy?" I whisper and got closer.

He was in tears. I sat down next to him, and he wrapped an arm around me.

"I'm sorry." He said, trying to stop his sobs.

"Daddy, please don't cry." I whisper.

"I tried to make her stay..... I'm sorry, baby girl."

I was confused.

My dad was sobbing. I quickly get up and go into my parents' room, hoping to find my mother. "Mommy?"

Not here.

I move to my room, then the bathroom. I searched every bedroom, every closet, and even under the beds. I was a kid, after all.

I walk back into the living room. "Daddy, where's mommy?"

My dad looked up at me with teary eyes. "She's gone, baby girl."

"Where? Is Mommy dead like Joyce's mom?"

"No, baby girl. Mommy..... she.... she went away." He said softly.

"I don't understand." I said on the verge of tears

My dad got up and picked me up, holding me in his arms. "I'm sorry, baby girl. I'm sorry I can't explain it better."

I cried so hard that night. I didn't understand. I called my mom every day for five months with no answer. I didn't understand why my mom would leave me and my dad. When I got older, I understood why she'd want to leave my dad if she wasn't happy, but why would she leave me?

What was so wrong with me? What did I do? Was I a bad kid?

My dad and I made our own traditions. We weren't rich, but he did his best. He would take me out for ice cream every year on my birthday. It was small but it was fun. We'd sit there in the booth eating ice cream and talking. It was our little thing.

When I was fourteen, my dad was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. It was a hard pill swallow. He was my only family left...

I worked while going to school to take care of my dad. He didn't want me to, but the bills needed to get paid, and his medication was expensive.

He died the day before my sixteenth birthday.

It broke me into a million pieces. Social services got involved and found my mom. When my social worker and I showed up at her doorstep, she hugged me.

I hated her. Cancer may have killed my dad, but it was my mom who broke him.

She lived with this guy named Kohen in this huge mansion. That hurt ten times more. While my dad and I were struggling, she was living her best life.

My mom ended up getting full custody of me. I hated that. Kohen was younger than my mom. I know she's attractive for her age, but why would a guy like that want her? I wasn't jealous. I was angry.

My mothers explanation for leaving me was that she wasn't good with kids and she had postpartum depression. She wasn't happy, so she left. She apologized, but I didn't care. We fought constantly, but it finally died down. I still couldn't stand her, but I learned to ignore her constantly trying to "make it up to me," she wasn't my mom back then, and she wasn't now.

I went into a serious depression. I still can't sleep through the night without sleeping pills. I had severe anxiety and depression plus insomnia. It sucked to be on all those pills, but I don't mind them anymore. I depend on them now.

I'm not an addict but the pills make me feel better now.

Anyway, I mostly stayed in my room away from her and Kohen. Kohen and I had only one conversation. He offered to pay for any college I wanted to attend. Full tuition and housing if needed.

I agreed, so I wouldn't have to deal with my mom. It was awkward between Kohen and I, but he was at work most of the time, so I didn't care. It's not that I hated him. I just didn't want to talk to anyone.

I want to be a writer, so I'm getting my degree for it.

I've been at college for two years now, but my mom wanted me to come home for summer. I didn't want to, but she begged and pleaded, so I eventually gave in.

So I guess I'll be spending the summer with my mother and my stepdad.

~♡~