The Story Of My Life

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Freya's Embrace: The Longest May

In May, after the wild storms of March had calmed down, my school life started to feel more settled. I had tackled my tests and was going to school more regularly, making it easier for me to walk through the school gates each day. But even though things seemed stable on the outside, I was still battling with insomnia, a problem that made it hard for me to sleep at night. I didn't know why or when I became an insomniac, but it was something I couldn't shake off.

Night after night, sleep slipped away from me, like trying to catch sand in my hands. I found myself wandering through the darkness, feeling like a restless spirit. The night brought no comfort; instead, I carried the weight of my troubles in my heart. While the world around me slept soundly, I grappled with the torment of insomnia, a constant companion to the whispers in my mind that never seemed to fade.

Ah, the voices that filled the corridors of my mind—though invisible, they were always there, whispering secrets and casting shadows. For those who didn't understand, it felt like constantly hearing murmurs just behind the ears, as if someone was always lurking nearby. But for me, these voices were more than just whispers; they were like a chaotic symphony, a mix of thoughts and feelings that made it hard to tell what was real and what wasn't.

In the world of my mixed-up feelings, there was one thing that never changed—a face that stood out, even in the mess. Freya. My feelings for her, though I never said them out loud, were like a quiet light showing me the way through all the confusion. It was a love that went beyond words, a part of my life story that I always felt but found hard to put into words.

Freya, if you ever stumble upon these words, know that you were the enigma that pulled me in, a puzzle I yearned to solve. I had wanted you before I even comprehended the depths of my desires, before the word 'love' held meaning for me. You were the chapter I fumbled to read, but I knew, even then, that it was home.

Freya, if you ever read these words, understand that you were like a mystery that drew me in, a puzzle I wanted to figure out. I felt drawn to you even before I fully understood what it meant to want someone, before I even knew what love was. You were like a chapter in a book that I struggled to understand, but deep down, I knew it was where I belonged.

But sadly, I couldn't find the courage to tell you how I felt. It felt like there was a huge wall between us, and I was too scared to be open and honest. Even so, just being around you, like catching a quick glimpse of a shooting star, was enough to make me feel alive.

In the final days of May, as the days grew shorter and the summer warmth enveloped everything, I had a surprising encounter on Instagram. A girl, whom I'll refer to as nee-san, entered my life like a kind older sister. She brought a sense of comfort during my tough times, listening to me without judging and providing comfort just by being there.

Talking to nee-san about Freya brought me comfort, but when it came to telling Freya how I felt, I struggled to find the right words. Even though I could talk to nee-san about it easily, I still found it hard to open up to Freya. Having nee-san there, understanding and supportive, gave me the courage to keep going, and our bond became really important to me.

Even though we don't talk anymore and our lives have taken different directions, I'll always remember nee-san as the sister I could rely on—the person I trusted with my deepest thoughts and feelings.

Nee-san, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your kindness and understanding mean the world to me. Without your support, I might never have had the courage to get to know Freya.

As I bring this story to its end, I want to leave you with a thought-provoking question. What if the only way to avoid pain is to shut off your emotions completely? Maybe that's why I've built walls around my heart, keeping myself away from the messiness of feelings.

The journey I'm on isn't easy, and the struggles I face might be hard to understand for some. But I share these words to give you a peek into my soul, to show you the inner battles I'm fighting. As I keep moving forward, guided by connections, love, and gratitude, I hope to figure out how to deal with all these emotions swirling around me.

In the end, it's all about discovering who I am, and I'm ready to embrace that journey, even if it means facing darkness to find glimmers of light. The road ahead might be tough, but I'll walk it with hope and strength, trying to find where I fit in a world full of feelings, love, and connections.

May the stars above see the story of my soul, and may my words touch your hearts, dear readers. As I keep moving forward, I'll leave you with the echoes of my thoughts—whispers in the night, carrying both sadness and love.

To be continued...