I Don't Bite

Chapter 18: Full Moons and Grumpy Boys

I laid sprawled out on the floor with a pillow over my eyes. Nothing even happened. I shouldn't feel like this. Ryan didn't mean anything bad with the homecoming thing he was just being stupid this year. That's all he was just—

"Your heart's beating too fast." Zack finally broke the silence from his spot on the couch, looking down at me.

"I'm fine." My voice cracked and I wanted to melt into the carpet and disappear. How annoying to be around someone always having a breakdown over one thing or another.

"You are not." He slid to the floor and sat beside me. "May I touch your hair?"

I nodded trying to get my heart rate under control.

"You're panicking." His fingers slid through my hair, nails grazing my scalp. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" He asked gently.

"It's not you." I choked out trying to fit myself back into my own skin. The one place I should be most comfortable, was too tight to squeeze myself back into.

"Is it Ryan?"

"It's not even him, it's me." I clenched my teeth, the truth finally out. Yeah, I was mad that Ryan just dipped but it wasn't because he was gone or mom was gone. It was because the only person I had left to be with was me and I didn't even enjoy my own company since the whole Pennet thing.

"What's so wrong with you?" He twists my hair around his finger and lets it spiral down. "I'm rather enchanted by you." That soft smile tugs at his lips.

"I can barely stand to be alone with me. I don't know how you're so okay with being around me." I sat up and wrapped my arms around my stomach, nausea churning my intestines into knots. "I wasn't even always like this. I was okay being alone before. You know that? I was fine, when Ryan was being moody and needed space and now... now it's like I can't stand to listen to my own thoughts. My own internal whining." I clutched myself into the tightest ball I could manage. "I was so stupid. I let him get so close!" I choked on a wave of tears I didn't feel coming until they were pouring down my face. Until my lungs were already gasping for air. Zack's hand fell away from my back. I get it. I really get it. I'd leave too. What else are you supposed to do when basically a stranger is having their fourth mental break down on you? I squeezed my eyes shut because I couldn't watch Zack walk away too.

"Violet." His voice came from in front of me and I chanced a look to see if I had truly lost it and now I was hearing things. "You understand that you're doing far better than anyone has the right to expect from you, yes?"

"What-what?" I stammered through my tears.

"You're currently being forced to attend school with a building full of people who do not believe you and the person who abducted you." He quirked a brow as if that explained everything. "You're handling it pretty well, if you ask me."

"I am?" I felt one wrong breath away from breaking every moment.

"Yes." He chuckled. "You are."

"You're just saying that." I frowned.

"No. I've just noticed it."  He rested two fingers on my hand. "And without your best friend, I think you're doing much better than I would if I were in your position."

I watched his face looking for the lie, but his gaze was soft, earnest. "It doesn't feel like it." I hooked my finger over his, trying to find an anchor point.

"Well, it looks like it." He pressed his finger into my hand and offered a reassuring smile.

My heart still pounded at my chest and my head was still spinning but I could breathe again. I could think.