Long Away

Chapter 69

TW: Violence

"Joe?"
A hand on his arm and Gwil's voice woke him up the next morning. Before Joe could muster up the energy to blink, reality hit him like a brick. He rolled onto his side, tears streaming down his face.
"I can't do this. It can't be over."
"We both have to be strong now," Gwil whispered. His comforting hand rested in place for a little longer, before he got up from the sofa.

"I'll get you some water. I already called for a taxi to bring us to the hospital. They'll be here in an hour." He spoke softly, hiding his own pain for Joe's sake.
"No Gwil," Joe whined. He forced his eyes open to look up at him.
"I really don't think I can do this."
"What do you mean?" Alarmed, Gwil kneeled down next to him and took Joe's hands into his own.
"I don't think I can see him again. I don't want to go."
"Oh." Gwil looked at him with big eyes.
"Should I be worried about you if I go alone?"
"No." Joe let out a bitter laugh.
"I won't be doing anything anytime soon."

He averted his gaze, wiping tears away with the sleeve of his shirt.
"If you need me to come back, just call. I'll try not to stay for too long, I just really need to see him one last time."
Joe nodded, holding his breath.
"But please drink some water. I know for a fact I'm not the one who emptied this." He held up the bottle Joe drank from last night.
His throat too tight to speak, he nodded again, before hiding his face in a sofa cushion. Gwil took the hint and left him alone.

Later that morning, Gwil handed the taxi driver his money.
"Thank you. Have a good day sir," he said.
"Oh, I won't," Gwil mumbled into his mask while shutting the door of the car.
It was as if he was watching himself from above as he walked up the path to the hospital entrance. Like he was watching a movie he couldn't remember shooting. And yet it was familiar. Not only because he had been here so many times, but because this specific day had been playing out in his head more times than he could count. Only that he thought Joe was going to be here with him. But that just meant one less thing for him to worry about today.

He passed the front desk, pacing quickly and not looking up, he did not want to get caught up in smalltalk with the receptionist. The elevator door was just about to close, but one of the three people inside spotted Gwil, and held out his hand to stop it.
"Thank you sir." Gwilym shot the man a friendly smile, before remembering he was wearing a mask. He added a nod, and leaned up against the wall.
"You're welcome."

Gwil watched as the door closed. Behind him, one of the other two people cleared her throat. He turned his head and froze, as he found himself right in front of Rami. Lucy beside him was glaring at Gwil with an intensity in her eyes that made his mind go blank. He averted his gaze, and to his relief neither of them said anything. Gwil was the first to get out of the elevator. He stepped back and waited, Rami and Lucy headed straight for Ben's room. Finally, the shock wore off and Gwil's thoughts managed to form a question. What the hell were they doing here?

He reached for the phone in his bag to send a text to Henry.
"I just arrived and ran into Rami and his girlfriend. Why didn't you tell me they were coming?"
Of course, he didn't get a response immediately. After Lucy and Rami disappeared in Ben's room, he took a deep breath and occupied one of the chairs in the hallway.
This wasn't good. If they stayed for too long...
Gwil figured he should send a text to Joe to let him know it might take a while before he could be back. Hopefully it wasn't a mistake to leave him by himself. The more he thought about it, the more anxious he got.

"Hey, so turns out Rami and Lucy are here. They're with Ben right now, and I don't know how long I have to wait. Are you going to be okay?"
Just when he was done typing, he got a reply from Henry.
"I'm sorry, they just announced themselves this morning and I couldn't send them away. They'll be leaving in an hour."
Gwil sighed.
"That's alright. I'll just wait here then."
He couldn't wait to finally drop the act and break up their relationship. It was no surprise to him why this man hadn't had a boyfriend since he left college nearly thirty years ago, and it didn't have anything to do with how busy his work-life was, or even the weird musical he was writing but couldn't get the funding for.

Gwil distracted himself with a game of sudoku on his phone. He didn't look up when the door to Ben's room opened, but waited until Lucy and Rami's footsteps told him they were out of sight. He had half expected them to challenge him on what had happened, and was relieved he could avoid that conversation. A last glance at his phone. Joe had read his message, but there was no reply. Gwilym frowned. He had to hurry and check on him. Throwing the strap of his bag over his shoulder, he headed into the room and closed the door behind himself.

So there it was. The moment he had been dreading for so long. He still couldn't quite believe this was happening. Ben was lying there motionless, covered in white sheets, helpless and unaware of the fate he was to succumb to. Gwil swallowed, the tightness in his throat threatened to take his breath away. His feet carried him to the side of the bed. He put his bag down and removed the mask. It didn't do much to improve his breathing, but it was fine, he wasn't going to stay for long anyway.

He looked down at Ben, struggling to find the right words, unsure if he could even hear him. If he had heard him all those times before. If at any moment he realized what was happening to him.
"I'm sorry," Gwil choked.
"I'm so sorry. I never meant for it to go this far. But there's no backing down now."
Gwil unzipped his bag and took out a syringe filled with a clear liquid.
"He's finally going to have to move on from you now."
With a shaking hand, he grabbed Ben's arm, ready to sink the needle into his muscle, as he had done every day since Ben was supposed to have woken up from his initial coma.

"Gwil?"
His heart dropped, and with a gasp, he spun around. How had he not heard the door being opened?
Joe stood there, staring at him with wide eyes.
"What are you doing?"
"Joe!" Gwil instinctively hid the syringe behind his back, despite knowing there was no way Joe hadn't already seen it.
"What are you doing here? I thought you didn't want to see him," Gwil stammered.
"I... changed my mind..." Joe blinked profusely, and shook his head at himself as if he was wondering why he even answered the question.
"What are you doing to Ben?", he repeated sternly.
"I..." Panicking, Gwil brought his hand up to a random button on one of the machines, as if he knew what it was good for.
"You're going to close the door right now and slowly come over here. I can explain everything, but I need you to do as I say."

Fuck.
He wanted to slap himself for what he had just said. Everything was going wrong. With shock written on face, Joe complied. The door fell shut behind him, and with rigid movements, he made his way over to Gwil, who was desperately trying to think of a way to de-escalate the situation.
"Look Joe, I know this looks bad..."
Joe's unblinking gaze sent a chill down his spine. It was an expression of pure terror.
"How much did you hear of what I said?"
"Nothing," Joe lied.
"That can't be. Joe, please, you have to understand... I wouldn't have done this if I had any other choice!"
"You were going to kill him," Joe stated soberly.

"N-no. I wasn't. I mean- I couldn't have known about the living will. Or that you wouldn't get over him after all this time. This wasn't the plan!"
"You were going to kill him," Joe repeated, more to himself, Gwilym realized. The disbelief in his voice turned to rage.
"You were going to kill him!" Tears shot into Joe's eyes, and the next moment, his hands wrapped tightly around Gwil's throat.

Gwilym choked as he stumbled backwards into a wall, hitting his head. He was shocked by the brute force his beloved Joe was attacking him with. His nails dug painfully into his skin.
"How could you do this?! How? Ben was your friend! You saw what I was going through and the whole time you played the hero comforting me..." Joe's jaw dropped when the realization hit him. "You lied about Rami! You isolated me from everyone!"

There was nothing but disgust and hatred in Joe's eyes. He wasn't going to show mercy. His grip didn't loosen, instead he pushed against Gwil's throat with all of his weight. His vision was beginning to get blurry. After all he did for Joe... how could he do this? All this effort he went through. Couldn't he see how much he loved him? How he adored him? He wanted to tell him that he meant the world to him, that he never would have done something like this if he had a choice... But he couldn't get a word out. He realized then that he only had one choice if he wanted to get out of here unharmed. With all his heart he wished he didn't have to, but Joe had brought this upon himself. I'm sorry. Gwilym tightened his grip on the syringe, and aimed for Joe's arm.

***

Hey guys!

Have another cliffhanger as a treat. I'm sure you must have missed them. You're welcome.

Tay