Tangled Up in Blue

Making Love

Keegan

I'm on my knees, my arms wrapped tightly around Blue, my cheek pressed against his back and my eyes closed. 

He's squatting in front of the wood stove, trying to get a fire started.

"Damn, it's cold as hell in here," he says, rubbing his chafed palms against each other and flexing his stiff fingers.

I feel his shoulder blades pushing into my face as he moves, but I don't open my eyes. 

I want to stay right here, inhaling the horse and hay scents coming off the oilskin jacket Blue is wearing. 

He borrowed it from Buick this morning when we asked to take Okie for a ride to the cabin. 

My brother reluctantly agreed but threatened to make us shovel horseshit for a week if we wore out his prize gelding.

We'd walked the horse most of the way, Blue holding the reins and me in the saddle in front of him, resting my head on his chest and loving the feel of his cradling arms. 

The air still swirled with stray flakes from the fast-moving snowstorm that left a few inches of white powder on the ground, and the wind cut right through our clothing. 

But neither of us minded the long ride.

It was glorious to be out there together. 

It was glorious to not think about anything other than our immediate surroundings.

"How far do you think we could get if we just kept going?" Blue whispered plaintively in my ear as we reached the bluff overlooking the cabin.

I didn't answer; I just let his question hang there between us.

Now, we're crouched in the cabin—Okie protected from the wind in the corral my great-grandfather long ago built into the side of the bluff. 

We promised Buick we'd have the horse back before sunset.

"And be sure you give him a good rub down when you get back and feed him the carrots he likes," Buick grumbled, fixing me and Blue with a gimlet eye. 

Buick is protective of his horse. Of all the horses on the ranch.

It was obvious my brother was curious about the strangers who showed up unexpectedly at the ranch and about the long meeting we had with them yesterday. I have no idea how much my grandmother has told him. 

I feel bad about keeping him in the dark, but I can barely wrap my own head around all of it, and I don't really feel like explaining it to anyone else right now.

I guess I'll need to fill Buick in soon, though.

He and I are feeling our way through what's hopefully going to be a better relationship. 

I'm used to fighting with my brother most of the time. Or not seeing him at all. 

But I want something better than that.

The kindling starts to crackle; the stove door clicks as Blue closes it. I still have my eyes shut, and I can hear a vibration coming from his back. 

"Are you humming?" I ask, raising my head and reluctantly opening my eyes.

The side of his face creases up in a smile, and his hand slides up to cover mine. 

He nods and starts humming a little louder.

"What song is that? I don't recognize it."

He turns to face me and tilts his head, looking surprised.