Tangled Up in Blue

A Wall Between Us

Blue

Keegan pulls me to the four-poster log bed, unbuttoning my flannel shirt and yanking off my undershirt.

Naturally, I reciprocate, pulling off the three layers she's wearing.

She climbs into my lap, then closes her eyes as I slowly ease each bra strap down her shoulders and slide my hand around to release the clasp.

"Blue."

I'll never get tired of hearing her say my name like that, half word and half moan.

I toss the bra on the floor and brace my body with one hand, rolling my entire face over her beautiful breasts and swirling my tongue around her nipples. 

Then I run my tongue from her collarbone up her throat, tasting the cold air on her skin.

"God, Blue."

She grabs my face and kisses the hell out of me, tightening her thighs against my abdomen as her breasts tickle my chest.

"Keegan," I sigh into her mouth. "God, Keegan. I love you."

"And I love you."

My chest feels tight, like I can't get a decent breath.

Hearing her say she loves me helps me believe things will be all right, that somehow I'll pass through the dark cloud that seems to follow me all the time.

I flip her over, pull her legs apart, and drive into her.

Here I am again, deflecting with sex.

There are so many things we should be talking about; so many thorny issues we ought to be working through. 

But it's so much easier to do this.

And it feels so goddamn good.

"God, you're so wet," I gasp. "You're so wet for me, Keegan."

She smiles, her eyes hooded, the tip of her finger running over her lips.

My tongue catches her finger and pulls it into my mouth for a moment.

"So good," I pant.

It's not just me deflecting this time. Keegan's doing it, too, dealing with our shit—more accurately, my shit—by fucking my brains out.

That can't be healthy. 

But I don't ever want it to stop.

I part her lips with mine, feel our tongues battling. 

Then I close my eyes, trying to slow the building release that's...um...coming.

I want to make sure Keegan finishes before me. I want to see that look of sudden elation that takes over her face.

She gets it every time she orgasms. 

And every time, she looks kind of surprised, like it's the first time she's experienced it.

I absolutely love watching her: every emotion; every sensation; everything about this girl. 

I want to be here for it all.

Keegan tightens her legs around me, and I can feel her start to shudder.

I squeeze my eyes shut; I need to slow down. 

But out of nowhere, unwelcome images crash into my brain: the CASEVAC chopper ride where my seared back had me in agony; the debriefing on base when I realized that everyone thought I was the lone survivor of yet another insurgent attack.