The Shooting Star

L E T T E R - II

"Beautiful things reach a certain height

and then they fail and fall off.
Breathing out memories as they decay."

- Anonymous

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Hey Ali,

I was just randomly going through all the pages I wrote, taking my sweet time reading the lines over and over. All of my complaints wishes, and happy memories that I would have wanted to let you know. It made me realise why I am so attached to it because it has turned out to be the only way I can feel that you are here. Somewhere around me. That's why I have chosen to refer to it as you.

We, humans, are the best definition of hypocrisy. On one hand, we want to run from our demons and bury their ashes in the thick layer of our desert. On the other hand, we try to cling to them for the love of our life in the fear of being lonely in the unfamiliar roots of life. Hoping they would at least provide us with some warmth of familiarity. While at the end all they do is destroy us. What's the meaning of knowing it, when I can't get rid of them myself?

They say habits can be changed in 21 days. I don't think so. Because some habits are so strongly tangled with our souls, they turn out to be a part of who we are. I guess you are one of those habits of mine. In these two months, I realised that you can't get read of a habit you don't want to let go of even in a thousand years. I would rather try to find you in the small bits and scraps of my life rather than let go.

So, how is it up there, I mean being dead? Not bad I assume. You don't need to weigh the weight of yourself anymore. It's the living who need to weigh the weight of you dead. It's honestly so exhausting.

By the way, do dead actually turn into ghosts? If so then you are always allowed to visit me. I will be waiting :)

Jokes apart guess who is moving out? Not me of course but Kai is. It's gonna be lonely without the weirdo though. Even though I initially planned to follow his sight next year, I have decided to put it in the backseat for quite a while.

Looking at Kai, it's not as easy as I thought. I mean moving out. It's like a plant being uprooted from its pot and being removed to another one. Even if the pot is next to its previous one it will still take months to adjust in there. Maybe it's every creation's nature to hold on to what is dear to them, perhaps an instinct to mourn on the ruins of its beloved ones.

Mom has been so sad about it. We still have time until his college and finding an apartment though.

I have something to confess. It's just ever since the incident I couldn't wrap my mind around why you would choose such a heist decision. It's just that something doesn't match, something that has been carefully concealed. So, I have decided to dig into it and I am determined to do justice to you.

Wish me luck, I am starting the investigation tomorrow.

- Kylie.

A short chapter. But, how long do you think one can write a letter? Remember how people say there are five stages of grief? Well, Kylie is in the first stage right now, denial. She is not ready to accept what she has lost. I want her to experience all of them and show that it ends.... eventually.

Whenever I write I try to pour out my whole heart in it. Sometimes the language barrier, lack of experience and confidence holds me back. But, I try to give my 100% and I hope it's worth it.

Updated on 23rd July 2023.