XXVIII

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"Its weird right?" The pitch of Singto's voice dropped as he solemnly spoke.

"What is?" Krist asked feeling confused he was already left bewildered by the other's previous statement.

"That the heart wants what it wants."

"Are you okay... you make no sense right now?"

"I think its now, that I'm finally making some sense out of my words and life. I was pretty naive before this and I have to say that I was like a super idiot." Krist placed a hand on Singto's shoulder and the latter smiled.

"See where I've come? I used to only find you provocative and compelling but can you stop being so nice? You bastard I can finally recall the first time we met. Each time I looked at you, I wondered that it wasn't that event that made us cross paths for the first time. We've met before that, you might not remember though."

"Yeah I don't" Krist scratched his nape and Singto chuckled. "So where did we meet?" Krist asked in hopes of lightening up the mood.

"You wanna know?"

"Of course, I'm making a journal for everything associated with you in my head." Both erupted into fits of laughter.

"I'll tell you some other day."

"Whaat? Noo. Tell me now or I'm gonna pull out the CCTV footage of this entire city."

"How many years' footage are you gonna sit and watch? also, what if it didn't take place in this city? what if it was a totally different place?"

"That I don't know... I'm Krist Perawat Sangpotirat and I can dig up anything about anyone."

"Fine good luck with that."

"Huh? no please tell me" Krist insisted as he shook Singto by the shoulders. When Singto didn't budge a centimeter, he gave up and rested his head on the other's shoulder. Singto let out a deep breathe through his nostrils and closed his eyes, Krist followed him and closed his eyes as well.

"You've got a beautiful heart Prachaya. I'm sorry that I've been shattering it into pieces all this time and I have no idea how to mend it either. I wish I could walk away from you, but then I look into your eyes and see my universe in them."

"Kit"

"Hm?" he responded and shifted his head to look at Singto whose eyes were still closed.

"Is pretending wrong?"

"Its not when you're an actor." Singto lightly slapped him on the thigh.

"Be serious"

"Alright, um, if you pretending ultimately leads to hurting someone's feelings then yeah." Singto's expression dropped and morphed into a sullen one.

"I don't want to hurt anyone." Singto let out as he inhaled a deep breathe.

"I'm sure you don't, you've got a kind heart."

"A kind heart that makes him suffer? What's the point?" the man states as shards of glass pierce through his own heart by the words. "I'm not sure when this happened, or if it was always like that, I'm just sorry for everything I did. you know, since the day you confronted me at college? I've been constantly beating myself up for the fact that I did not realise this myself. Was I always ashamed of introducing him to the others as someone important to me? When we were studying, people already knew about us so it wasn't really a problem, but once I graduated, I think I was the one who had a change of heart and could not deal with it. If he goes out and cheats on me today I wouldn't be surprised, I wasn't giving my best to him anyway."

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