An introvert reader. An online writer. A nostalgic short story.
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An introvert fanboy develops a crush to his favorite online writer, who doesn't even know his existence. Instead of following her on her social media accounts, sending her long swee...
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Dear Calliope,
I’m doomed. Parang ayaw ko ng lumabas ng bahay.
“Oh, bakit parang mukha kang zombie?”
“Kain na, Anak. Anong oras ka ba natulog kagabi, ha?”
“Ang itanong mo, Ma, eh kung natulog ba talaga ‘yan kagabi?”
Mukha talaga akong zombie dahil hindi na ako nakatulog ng maayos kagabi. Paano kasi, sa sobrang excited ko kagabi, hindi ko man lang nagawang i-double check ‘yong account na ‘yon.
The problem was, it turned out na hindi mo pala account ‘yon. She was just an avid fan like me. Nagkataon kasi na online din siya that night at saktong pagka-sent ko ng message, automatic nag-‘seen’ din siya agad. I was about to exit my messenger when I got her message back, asking who am I.
Doon ko na lang din nagawang i-double check ang account na ‘yon. And guess what, she’s the daughter of the new residence in front of our house. Nakakahiya talaga baka kung ano pang isipin niya.
Balak na sanang iligpit ni Ate ang mga pinagkainan namin sa mesa nang biglang tumunog ang doorbell ng gate namin.
“May bisita ka?” tanong ni Ate sa akin habang patuloy niyang nililigpit ang mga gamit sa mesa.
“Itanong mo muna kung may kaibigan or kakilala man lang ako dito sa bago nating address,” I sarcastically responded and she was about to turn into a beast. Minsan talaga, nakakatuwa ring asarin si Ate.
“Bunso, tignan mo nga kung sino ‘yong nasa labas,” sigaw ni Mama mula sa kusina.
I saw my sister’s face transformed into devil as her eyes rolled-up while licking her tongue into air.
“Ma, si Ate mukhang demony--!”
“--mukhang diyosa!”
Olats na naman yata ako. Wala talaga akong laban sa babaeng ‘yon.
Lumabas na lang ako para pagbuksan ang kung sino man ang nasa labas. But to my surprise, it was that girl! Buti na lang at wala pa naman akong ina-upload na picture ko sa kahit anong social media accounts ko. I was pretty sure na hindi niya ako kilala.
“Hi, I am Kylie-- ah, anyway, kami ‘yong bagong lipat sa tapat niyo,” she stated casually.
Ayaw ko ng i-describe ang physical features nito dahil baka iba pa ang isipin mo. She was definitely not my type. She was wearing a polka-dot pajamas and an over-sized black T-shirt with Luffy’s face printed on it. Her slippers made her look a little bit cute because of its white fur covering almost half of her feet. Idagdag mo pa ang maiksi niyang buhok na kulay itim. Overall, she’s just a . . . normal girl.
Did I just taken back my words?
“Huy, Kapatid! Sino--”
“Wala Ate, bagong lipat lang sina Manang sa tapat,” I shouted back bago pa niya makita kung sino ang kausap ko.
Nag-thank you naman ako kay sa kanya at agad na sinarado ang gate. Hindi sa pagiging masungit or what pero baka kasi kapag makita pa ako ni Ate na kausap siya, baka kung ano na naman ang isumbong nito kay Mama.
“Leche flan ba ‘yan?” tanong ni Ate pagbalik ko sa loob. Hindi ko man lang napansin na dala-dala ko pala ‘yong binigay niya kanina. Ngayon ko lang din napansin na leche flan pala ‘to.
Dahil ayaw ko ng maraming tanong, binigay ko na lang kay Ate ‘yong leche flan at dumeretso na lang ako sa kwarto para magkulong buong araw. Linggo naman ngayon at wala rin akong homeworks dahil kakasimula pa lang ng klase this week. Pagkatapos kong maligo ay naglaro ako ng Mobile Legends pero puro defeat lang ang resulta dahil sa mga mahihinang kakampi. Nakakainis talaga ang araw na ‘to!
Balak ko sanang matulog buong araw nang biglang tumunog ang messenger ko. To my surprise, bigla kong nabitawanan ang phone ko dahilan para mahulog ito sa ilong ko.
“Kapag minamalas ka nga naman oh!” I complained to myself.
Paano kasi, nagchat na naman siya, asking if who am I and confirming if I was really an avid fan of yours. Since wala naman din akong magawa, ni-reply-an ko na lang ‘siya. Hindi ko namalayan na humahaba na pala ang usapan namin.
According to her, madalas daw siyang mapagkamalang ikaw ng ibang readers. Sa sobrang pagka-idolize niya raw kasi sa’yo, ginagaya ka niya madalas. But honestly, reader lang din siya tulad ko. At tulad ko, gano’n din ang feelings niya towards you. Para siyang girl version ko at para naman daw akong boy version niya, as a reader and as a fan. I never thought na makakakilala ako ng ibang reader na tulad ko -- sa stories mo lang umiikot ang mundo.
Sa paglipas ng ilang araw, hindi ko namalayan na nagiging close na pala kami. May mga information din akong nalaman about sayo galing sa kanya. Ayon kay Kylie, your current Wattpad account now is your third account. Yung una, puro fan fictions lang daw ang sinusulat mo. Yung pangalawa naman ay puro high school teen fictions naman. Marami ang nakakakilala sa’yo before kaya mas pinili mong gumawa ng isa pang account to save your identity and privacy.
But why?
I tried to search those accounts pero mukhang deactivated na ang mga ito. I got more curious about you and the reason why you chose and stay low-key despite of having great stories now and even before.
What was your reason of writing of those amazing stories?
What was your reason of hiding your identity?
What was your reason of living in the spotless corner?
Because for us, you don’t deserved the spot you have right now. You deserve more than that. You deserve to be known in this realm. But I guess, that was the real you and you really wanted that spot. And we, your readers, should respect that.
Maybe you have your own reasons. Just like the reasons you have for writing such stories. Reason for not exposing your identity and keeping your privacy. And reason for not getting into the spotlight even if you can, you don’t want to. And I always thinking of the possibilities that maybe, just maybe, your reasons kept your sanctuary to be unknown by the world.
Maybe, after all, your reasons were the keys to your safe haven.
But one thing was for sure, that someday, you would not just share your fictional stories to the world, but also your real story -- a story that would surely inspire us even more. But for now, all I can do was to hope that your reasons won’t stop you to grow.
I hope, those reasons would be the same reasons for you to escape from the cage you have unintentionally created within yourself.
That one day, you can finally be free from those reasons that holding you back to spread your wings and fly higher than now and before.
Keep writing for whatever reasons you have, calliope.
