Our love couldn't go wrong

Chapter Nine :

They ended up watching Avengers: Endgame together and by the time the film ends, she can feel just how exhausted she is. Even Shayne stifles a yawn next to her as they walk out to his car.

It's dark out, but not too late, so it comes to no surprise when he asks what they want to do next.

She wishes she could be selfish. She wishes that she could be completely honest and ask to go get ramen or pizza, followed by a quick target trip to get snacks before going back to his place and watching some random shit on Netflix, like old times. But it wouldn't be fair; he's already done so much and...she needs to go back home. It's time for her to face the music. So, she asks him to drive her home, instead.

She hates how he deflates upon hearing that.

Thankfully, he doesn't protest and the car ride is filled with a mixture of easy small talk and comfortable silence - the sort that you appreciate when you're sleepy. It takes everything within her not to fall asleep to the soothing sound of his voice and the low hum of the radio. She knows he wouldn't have minded. But she forces herself to stay awake and by the time he turns into their neighbourhood, he looks across at her. There's a look on his face she can't quite place.

"You know I'm always here for you, right? No matter what. And I'm not gonna pry into your business because it's not my place, but you mean a lot to me, to everyone, and if someone is trying to convince you otherwise...you shouldn't listen to them. I hate seeing you like this and I know it's not your fault, but do you know that?" There's a lump forming in the back of her throat and she gulps, feeling the way that her chest starts to tighten in response to his words. "And if you ever need anything at all, you can come to me. Even if it's just something like this, where we go out and forget life for a couple hours, okay? Just message and I'II come running. Or driving - probably driving - but you get what I mean."

She nods, but she can't force herself to say anything back to him. Her eyes burn and she feels sick, quick to look down at her hands in her lap.

There's a bit of loose skin on her index finger and she picks at it, pulling on it until it comes off. She doesn't feel anything at first, but the sting starts to kick in after a moment, and blood pools from the wound. Not much, but enough. Enough to distract her, enough to stop the tears welling in her eyes, enough to get it all to stop. She breathes.

"Hey, Court, don't do that. You'll hurt yourself," Shane's voice pulls her from her thoughts as his hand covers hers, squeezing lightly. She shrugs weakly in response. Why does he care?

They fall into a silence afterwards until he's pulling up outside of her place for the second time today and she finds herself preparing to say goodbye. There's a lot more that she wishes she could say, but the words won't come out.

She's never been good with words.

"Promise you'll text me when you get in - you know I won't leave until you do. I mean it, Courtney." He does mean it, he's done it before, so she has no choice but to promise to message and hope that he believes her. It's not as though she won't, but...she'll probably have to send it just before she unlocks the door so that Jason doesn't ask who she's talking to, leaving her to explain. That'd just make him accuse her of sleeping around, or something, she doesn't know but it sounds like something he'd do and she's too tired for that tonight.

"Okay, Dad." She teases.

Thanking Shayne, she gets out of the car and makes her way up the stairs, counting each one she climbs. There's only twelve steps to a flight in this building, but there's a half step that always throws her numbers off; is she meant to round up or down when she's counting?

She doesn't know the answer to that by the time she reaches her floor, so she pushes it to the back of her mind for another time and pulls her phone out to text Shayne. It's just a simple 'home now. thanks', but it gives him peace of mind and it buys her a couple more seconds before the inevitable.

Jason's awake. She knows that before she even unlocks the door - the sound of chatter and laughter audible through the thin walls - but the murmur of music makes her want to turn back around. He's having a party.

It's not like she doesn't like his friends but...they're all as loud and as messy and obnoxious as he can be, and this only worsens when they've been drinking. Her hand hesitates on the doorknob, but she forces herself inside. She needs to get this over and done with.

"Hey babe," Jason slurs the moment she closes the door behind her and she blushes as the ten or so people in their apartment all turn round to face her, "Come here, baby, come sit with us." He ushers her over and she complies, hovering next to where he's sat on the corner of their couch. He's drunk. The smell of alcohol on his breath is blatant from where she's stood but he seems quite mellow and she hopes that this is going to be a good night. Maybe it won't end in an argument or her having to clean up his vomit. "Nooooo, don't just stand there, come sit with me." He whines, tugging on her arm and pulling her into his lap.

She's tense at first, trying to balance her weight so she doesn't fall straight onto the floor, but he wraps his arms around her and kisses the side of her head as he holds her and...it's nice. He used to be like this a lot, so cuddly and sweet. She misses it. She doesn't know when he stopped being like this, but she forgot exactly how much she missed him being gentle and loving; it's part of the reason she fell for him so hard and so fast. He was never afraid to show her off.

"My pretty girl. My gorgeous Courtney. You've all met my girl, haven't you, boys? I'm such a lucky mans, I am."

The words make her heart swell and she leans into his touch, shying away from the others, slightly. She's never been good at receiving praise but there's still that sense of pride that continues to grow with his words. It's going to be a good night.

————————————

He stays outside for a few minutes, just waiting. Even after she texts him, he doesn't drive off for another ten minutes.

Just in case.

She's not coming out now and he knows it, he had been expecting it. So he doesn't know why he feels so...disappointed. And there's that crippling guilt he feels for feeling that way, because it's stupid, he's being dumb right now. Courtney needed him earlier and he was so happy to be there for her, to be what she needed in that moment, and it's not like he's mad that she doesn't need him now, more like...a part of him wishes that she did. He's so selfish for wanting that, though, he knows that. It's wrong of him to want her to have come back down and ask to go back to his, watch some crappy movie they'll both laugh about and order two separate pizzas because god forbid there even be a chunk of pineapple touching his. But he wants that so badly.

He didn't want her to go. He doesn't want her to sort things out with her boyfriend, to make up with him like the ever-forgiving person she is (probably to get hurt by him again not long after).

He may be dumb, but he isn't stupid. He knows something is going on between Courtney and Jason, and whatever it is, he knows Ian is aware that something is going on, too. There's no other explanation for it. He knows that Ian and Courtney came to work together today, he knows that Courtney was wearing the same outfit as she was yesterday with the exception of a merch shirt thrown over the top, and he knows that it certainly isn't for the reason anyone else would assume it'd be for.

Shayne takes pride in being an observant person. After all, you can only learn so much by listening alone. And maybe it's his passion for psychology that fuels his need to know more, but he feels comforted by the idea of constantly discovering new things and connecting dots to get more information.

He just wishes that he knew more about everything going on right now.

Don't get him wrong, he has an idea of what is going on. But he can't be certain and...even if he is wrong, it could cause so much conflict to throw around the one label that is coming to mind.

God, he fucking hates this